Best Friends
by leytonnaleybrulian
Summary: Elena just started high school and meets Damon who is older and they become best friends but Elena is head over heels in love with him. Stefan will stop at nothing to get in between them. TW: eating disorder and sexual assault
1. Chapter 1: Elena Meets Damon

**Author's Note: This is an AU world, no supernatural. Damon and Stefan are not brothers. ****Jeremy**** is Elena's older brother in college. Her parents are alive.**

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Growing up is hard on any teenager and the transition into High School is really scary. Many guys are jerks after sex and girls are bitches trying to tear you down. You're fifteen years old and you're trying to find yourself and fit in with others, some kids will do anything to fit in. I'm not like that or at least I wasn't. I grew up with very little friends because I'd rather have one best friend than tons of fake friends. I always thought it'd be easier coming to High School and having my best friend by my side but it isn't. You still need somewhere to fit in or you became a target for people to make fun one. It's sad because I've never grew up wanting popularity or anything like that. It's hard trying to find who you're supposed to be at fifteen.

I was a freshman when I met him. Damon Salvatore, my best friend with his black hair and dreamy blue eyes. The melt in your shoes head over heels kind of eyes. He was a junior and the sweetest jock I have ever met. Damon was a football star and really popular. Which was a surprise to everyone when he befriended me. I'm just a regular fifteen year old girl. I'm not too girly or a tomboy, not popular, not a so called 'geek', not bad in school but not the best. I wasn't busty or skinny. I'm average. So why did he want to be my friend? I have no idea I'm ordinary.

The day we became friends was a really awful day for me. I was new to the school like the rest of my class I was still trying to find my way and settle in. The normal things freshmen feel in their first few weeks at school. Emotions run high and all you want to do it have everything be familiar and easy but it takes time. I never really loved school but I didn't hate it either. I dreaded being stuck in the house all day when it was summer but once I go back I wanted it to be over again. It's the same routine every year but this year I'm in a new place. It's much different than starting Middle School. In High School it's bigger and there's more people. All kinds of people and all different ages. In the movies it looked way more scarier than it actually is. High School wasn't bad at all but it's still new and I was still having a hard time adjusting.

The lockers were bigger which made it hard to open. I had finally gotten my locker opened and another member on Damon's team came over to me in empty the hall. It was during lunch time so everyone was gone. His name was Stefan Lyle and he was a jerk with brown hair and green eyes and yes, he was cute. Very cocky in the typical ways of a jock. Not surprising.

"Hi?" I asked looking him up from head to toe wondering whether my predictions are right.

He cocked his eyebrow. "Hey sexy what's your name?" Yes, cocky was the right word.

"Why do you want to know?" I asked not fully knowing why he was talking to me. I wasn't going to give up my name to some random guy hitting on me in school. I didn't care if he was kind of cute it's still weird.

"I'm Stefan." He said skipping my question. I've never been hit on before except one time on vacation but that was innocent.

"Nice to meet you Stefan." I said looking away.

He got a little closer and it freaked me out. "You know I haven't seen you around." Stefan drew a smile. I usually don't get paranoid or anything if a guy is talking to me but this felt weird.

I looked back at him. "I'm a freshman."

"Oh that's it?" Stefan smiled and I nodded my head. "You want to go out sometime?" He wasn't shy about it either. I'm was only fifteen and not allowed to date till I'm sixteen and maybe he was a little too pushy or extremely too pushy.

"No sorry." I said with a fake frown I was about to explain why but he spoke first.

"What?" He was surprised and annoyed. His tone made me uneasy, I turned away to leave. Stefan didn't like that he grabbed my arm right as I turned away. When I turned back he tightened the grip.

"OW!" I softly yelled. He wasn't use to being turned down he held a tight grip on my arm and I was scared. Luckily for me my knight in shining armor was there and saw the whole thing.

"Let her go Stefan." Damon Salvatore said walking over to us with a stern voice. Stefan laughed knowing it was his voice.

"Stay out of this Damon." Stefan turned to look at Damon with his cocky attitude.

"Make me." Damon got closer. They were practically face to face if I didn't know any better I would have thought maybe there would be a fight.

"Whatever." Stefan let go of me and turned his head. "You're not worth it." He said, and walked away. What I meant by that was Stefan seemed afraid of Damon.

Damon had turned to me. "Are you okay?" I looked up rubbing my sore arm. I was stunned at his kindness after what I just encountered with the last jock I just met.

"Yeah I'm fine." It didn't hurt that badly. It was just more on the line that it scared me.

"Good, I'm glad." He smiled sweetly. He was so gorgeous.

"Thank you for that." I smiled back at him.

"No need to thank me that guy Stefan's a real jerk." He laughed while I still had a goofy smile plastered on my face. "Here let me see that." Damon gently took my hand and looked at the mark. "I don't think it'll leave a bruise." I felt a connection when he touched my hand. He was so nice and handsome. I'd seen him in the hallway sometimes in the past few days and I thought he was so good looking. I knew he was really popular with the way people treat him. I didn't think I'd be talking to him a few days later. I also didn't think he'd be so friendly. "I'm Damon Salvatore." He looked into my eyes.

"Elena Gilbert." I smiled as he shook my hand I didn't want to let go so quickly. That day sealed the start of our friendship.

I have other friends like my best friend Caroline and our friend Matt. Caroline and I have been friends since preschool and she's more like my sister than my best friend. For a while years ago she lived with me while her parents went through their divorce. So if we were really close before that you can see why she's a lot like a sister to me. Matt is Caroline's boyfriend. They've been together for years. I like them together but I do feel like a third wheel sometimes. Mostly when we go to the movies, the mall or hanging out in my bedroom. They end up making out while I sit and watch TV. That's why growing apart from them a bit. I think it's okay to have some distance in friendships. It's also why I call Caroline my sister since she isn't my best friend. That's Damon.

Damon and I started to grow closer after he rescued me from Stefan. The night after it happened I couldn't stop thinking about him. The way I felt touching his hand and the way he cared about me. Damon is the most caring person I've ever met. What other guy would go against his teammate for a stranger? Not many. It is hard being friends with someone you like. Every high five, hand touch, or hug I get chills.

Becoming Damon's friend was pretty instantly Damon saw me in the hallway the next day when Stefan walked over to me. Stefan was probably going to repeat the same thing again but Damon interrupted.

"Hey Elena!" Damon smiled greeted me before glaring at Stefan, who was backing away. Damon looked back at me and invited me to eat lunch with his friends. I was caught off guard didn't know if it was sincere or just because he saw Stefan but I agreed. I tried to not overthink it because I thought maybe he just didn't want to see Stefan hurt me. It still proves he's a really amazing. I was trying to find an explanation the only thing I could come up with is that he's just a really nice guy.

This was the day I realized how popular he actually really was. I knew he was a jock and well liked but that was an understatement. Damon was loved. When we walked into the cafeteria people kept congratulating him on football stuff. The lunch was packed with people all around but two spots for us.

"Hey guys, This is Elena." I waved dorkily and we sat down and everyone politely smiled but they didn't care.

It was completely awkward eating with jocks they kept staring down my shirt. Their girlfriends kept whispering to each other laughing and it's really uncomfortable. I didn't fit in here. There were one or two subtle comments about me. Imagine trying to eat lunch when five cheerleaders drinking only water are staring at you laughing. I've never been as self conscious about my body as I did in that moment. I don't really have a figure yet but it's still enough to make anyone uncomfortable. Damon picked up on that and found me walking home later in the day.

"Hey stranger." He yelled from behind, I smiled hearing his voice.

"Hey Damon." Every time I see him I get chills, in a good way.

"Where are you going?" Damon said wondering which direction I was heading in.

"Home." I pointed towards my upcoming street.

"You walk home?" He asked me.

"Yeah the bus gets smelly in the afternoon." I giggled as he laughed.

"I like your smile." He grinned at me, I blushed.

"Thanks. I like yours too." We laughed.

We kept walking in the same direction. It felt natural being around him. I enjoyed his company, I assumed he enjoyed mine or else he would've left by now.

"Where do you live?" I asked him. I wondered if he lived nearby or was just walking me home to be nice.

"Maple Street."

My eyes widened. "Me too!" I said with excitement.

"Really?" Damon was surprised. "That's cool I'm surprised I never saw you before." I could tell he was wondering why we only met this school year.

"I'm always inside." I looked around trying to avoid the question I knew he was about to ask.

"Why?" He asked me, trying to understand.

"I just like to be home." I said sighing. It was true, I liked being home but I also had intense anxiety.

"I don't buy it." He chuckled while putting his hands into his pockets.

"I open my balcony doors and let the breeze in draw. It's the most peaceful feeling I know. It makes me feel alive if that makes sense." I looked at him.

"It makes perfect sense." He smiled and I blushed once again. "Maybe I can join you one day." He added.

"Yeah maybe." We got to our street and my house.

"It was nice walking with you." I said dorkily he chuckled. I walked towards my doorstep.

"Elena, Wait!" He asked.

"Yeah?" I said turning around looking at him.

"I'm sorry about lunch today. I saw how uncomfortable you were and it wasn't cool of me." He explained. Wow what a gentleman, to apologize for something that wasn't his fault.

"No no! It's perfectly fine you were nice enough to let me sit with you." I would've been fine if all he ever did was stand up to Stefan for me. If he never talked to me again it still would've been him treating me better than most boys treat girls these days.

"No, I should have realized what would happen." He paused. "I don't want you to think I was like them when i'm not." He was disappointed in himself. I could tell it was very important to him to be an upstanding guy.

"Damon it's okay, I would never think you were like your friends after you've shown me such kindness this past week" I walked over to him and hugged him. He hugged me tightly. It was warm and comforting.

"I only hang out with them because that's what teammates do." I didn't think Damon would care about what I thought of him. It meant a lot to me that he valued my opinion.

"I understand." I pulled away and looked up at him. "For what it's worth I think you're great." I smiled as I watched his face light up.

I got upstairs to my room and looked out my balcony. I saw Damon walking to a house across the street four houses down. I remember growing up watching that house. This house is big and beautiful. It always had the perfect grass and there were always tons of cars there on holidays unlike my house. I grabbed my sketchbook and flipped to the front. There it was. A sketch from two years ago but it was his house. I opened a new pages and closed my eyes before opening and drawing Damon.

An hour later I started on my homework and went to make dinner. It sucked having to practically raise my little brother Max while I was a kid myself. I never even got a thank you. My dad left my mom when I was a kid. She remarried this asshole who dumped her when she got pregnant. My mom did her best raising my siblings and I but as a single mother to three kids, it's not easy. I don't blame her for me having to do everything around here. She has to take more hours at work after my older brother Jeremy started college. After dinner I stared into my bathroom mirror. I felt gross after looking at those beautiful cheerleaders. All the hope I had for Damon to return my feelings were so unrealistic. Why would he want me when he could have someone with a nicer body. I sighed and laid on my bed. I was so anxious about school and dealing with all of those pretty girls. I knew they didn't want me around. I was also anxious about personal things. I popped a few advil and threw on some tv to distract my mind.

The next day I got ready for school after waking up my brother and making his lunch. I didn't eat breakfast. When I walked outside I saw Damon standing there waiting for me.

"Hey!" I smiled brightly. "What are you doing here Damon?"

"Walking you to school." I could have sworn I saw a smirk on his face.

We walked to school and the whole time I had a smile glued to my face. My anxiety faded a bit while talking to him. We talked about teachers and who his favorites and least favorites were his freshmen year. Damon gave me all of the pointers. When we walked into school together Stefan looked at us with a weird look. He was probably jealous because I wasn't walking with him, not that I'm a prize that Damon one but that Stefan is a bad guy. We say our goodbyes and go off in different directions.

My day went pretty smoothly. When it was lunch I sat with Caroline and Matt like I normally would I was ready to tell them about what they missed when I wasn't sitting at our table yesterday.

"Elena where were you yesterday?" Caroline asked when I sat down next to her. She had texted me a few times but I was busy doing my homework, and maybe possibly fantasising about Damon kissing me.

"I was-" I stopped in mid-sentence when Damon walked over and sat down.

"Elena." He smiled at me and turned to my friends. "Hey I'm Damon." He extended his hand to Caroline, I was shocked.

"Damon, This is Caroline and Matt." Introduced my friends. He shook both of their hands.

"Nice to meet you guys." Damon said. Caroline and Matt both kept looking at me with confused looks as to why a popular football junior is sitting with us. Damon invited a few of his friends that weren't judgy or jocks. They were normal juniors like us, just older. It was really awesome actually. His friends were funny and nice. Damon treated us as if we weren't freshmen unlike the other popular students. There was one girl and two guys. Enzo, Liv and Luke. I didn't ever get close to them but it was nice having a friendly relationship with them. This became an everyday thing I wondered why he decided to sit with me all of a sudden, leave most of his friends to sit with me.

Later that day Damon walked me home again and when I got home Caroline was waiting for me. She was so confused about what happened.

"So when did you become so popular?" I laughed at my best friends comments.

"I'm not but Damon is." I explained to her as we sat down on my bed.

"How do you even know him Elena?" She asked, very confused.

"This creepy guy Stefan was being forceful when I rejected him and Damon helped me." I explained the full story.

"Okay he helped you but why is walking you home and sitting at our table?" Caroline said as if she was reading my mind from the past few hours.

"I don't know."

"You better be careful Elena because he's so much more experienced than you." Caroline was right but she didn't know what I knew about him. How sweet he was.

"I know that Caroline! I'm not dating him he wouldn't be interested in me." I defended myself.

"The way you two looked at each other. You need to be careful Elena." I knew she was serious.

"I will be Caroline, You don't have to worry about me." We hugged.

When she went home, I cooked dinner for Max and then went and laid in my bed and sighed.

Later on there was a knock on my balcony. I jumped and opened it to Damon standing with a smile. "You scared me!" I said.

"I'm sorry I didn't think I would." He laughed.

"No one really scales the house to get to my balcony, So yes it scared me." I let him in. "Why did you not use the front door?"

"I didn't want your parents to freak out." Reasonable.

"My parents aren't home." I mentioned as if my mother was ever home. I hadn't explained anything about my father to him yet.

"Oh" He laughed feeling like a goof.

"So, What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"I wanted to see the most peaceful place in the world to you." He smiled. That was incredibly sweet of him. "I want to watch you draw."

"Why?" I asked Damon.

"Because it's important to you." My heart melted.

I grabbed my sketchbook and started finishing the sketch I started last night. He watched me and we looked at the sunset. It was quiet and nice.

"Can I see?" Damon asked after a while. I finished up the last few details and I handed him the sketchbook. "Wow Elena, This is amazing." He was stunned.

"Thank you so much, You can have it." I smiled sweetly.

"Thanks" He hugged me gently. "You're really special. You know that?" The comfort I felt in his arms was like no other.


	2. Chapter 2: Becoming Best Friends

**Trigger Warning - Eating Disorder**

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Before I met Damon I thought all jocks were in love with cheerleaders. I was wrong considering Stefan isn't into them and Damon isn't. Ever since the beginning Damon and I were like instantly close. Today was like most of our days, if we didn't have much homework. When he'd take me home from school we wouldn't even do anything but homework lots of the time. Just knowing we had each other for help was motivation to do our work was enough. We'd text and talk on the phone a lot, Damon would tell me about the talk in the locker room. Which is basically a game of "Who slept with who.". I didn't really care but it was funny making fun of the desperate cheerleaders with him. Damon would sneak into my room all the time and we'd stay up watching TV marathons on the weekends. It was so much fun, I did think it'd be hard to be his friend because of my feelings for him but it wasn't. It was really easy being friends with Damon Salvatore.

The next day Damon came over again. It was Saturday morning. He came over without warning, little did I know that it would become a regular thing with him. Damon was really bummed out, he looked like a mess.

"What's wrong?" I got up off my bed and waited for him to talk to me.

"It's my half sister, Hayley. Her boyfriend's been sober for two years and he had relapsed." Damon looked down trying to hold it in. "He got into an a-accident and nearly killed this seven year old kid." His eyes watered but he didn't cry.

"Oh my gosh, Are they okay?" I asked concerned, I took his hand to comfort him. I felt so awful.

"He has a couple fractures, two cracked ribs and a broken bone then cuts and bruises. The kid had even worse than that but he's going to be alright." Damon took a breath. "My sister has a broken collarbone, fractured neck, bruises and cuts everywhere." Damon looked defeated. He and his sister are close and he didn't want her to have to go through this.

"I'm so sorry Damon." I pulled him closer and wrapped my arms around his waist. We stood there for awhile as I tried to comfort him.

"Thank you." He whispered in my ear, I felt his tears soak my shirt.

"It'll be okay." I reassured him. I felt his pain so intensely.

We sat on my bed and we laid next to each other in silence for a while, then we started making small talk. I just wanted Damon not to have to think about it, though I knew that's all he was thinking about. He felt helpless as he waited for his parents to come back and pick him up. After a while his family came to pick him up.. Things worked out fine, Damon's sister's injuries weren't to the extent of surgery. She got to go home by Tuesday to recover at home. Since she's only in her early twenties, she healed pretty fast. I was surprised that Damon opened up to me so fast. We had only known each other for a short time but he trusted me enough to come to me with something he was going through. It was a special moment we shared, Where I got to help him the way he helped me, and after that we were inseparable.

* * *

Stefan would always stare at me from his table. It was weird, I'd be talking to Damon about my classes and I'd see Stefan looking at me. He wouldn't turn away after I'd see what he was doing. I tried to ignore it because I knew Damon would freak. As much as I didn't like Stefan I didn't want to cause drama. It started around the time Damon and I started hanging out after school. He'd walk me home like the first day and we'd hang out at my house for awhile. The closer we got the worse Stefan would act around me. That made me think that, Maybe he is jealous. Sometimes I thought, "Well maybe he actually likes me like how I like Damon. He could just have a bad way of showing it." I shrug it off because he's still a jerk. I didn't even understand why he would be jealous or even like me. I didn't feel pretty, I felt disgusted. Damon always tells me he acts this why because he knows he will never be able to get in bed with me. It was true I don't even like him at all and even if I did Damon would probably freak out. Stefan did bother me a few times after that first day.

I stood in line at lunch, waiting for Caroline. I saw Stefan walking towards me with a group of friends. I turned my body fast to avoid him. The next thing I knew I felt a hand grabbing my ass. I turned around, shocked and covered in chills.

"Hey babe." Stefan winked at me, It grossed me out. He and went back over to his friends.

Everyone was laughing. I was so humiliated.

I ran out of the lunchroom and ran right into Damon. I didn't want to tell him because I knew he would freak out.

He laughed. "Where are you in a rush to?" Damon asked before he realized the look on my face. "Are you okay Elena?" He reached for my hand in concern.

I sighed. "I'm fine." I wasn't fine but it was my problem.

Damon didn't buy it. "Tell me the truth." How can this boy know me so well so fast?

I looked down. "It's Stefan. He grabbed my ass." I looked back up to see his face.

"What?" Damon said with anger. "I'm gonna kill him."

I shook my head. "Please don't!" He started to walk towards the lunchroom. I grabbed his arm. "Damon! I'm serious, I don't want to make a big deal about this."

He stopped himself and turned to me. "Fine, I won't this time but it is a big deal. You can't let a guy treat you like that. You are worth more than that." Damon said softly, staring into my eyes.

It meant a lot for Damon to say I was worth more. I never felt like I was worth much. Damon kept his word and didn't talk to Stefan. Then at practice he tackled Stefan. It was pretty funny.

Over the next few weeks I didn't really get bothered by Stefan aside from his usual antics.I didn't know why he always picked me to harass. Stefan called me a tease in the middle of class and everyone stared at us. It was really embarrassing.

* * *

I woke up on my day off from school to my mom yelling at me. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. "What?" I said still groggy.

She rolled her eyes and calmed down so she could explain herself again. "Your brother told me some older guy has been up here with you alone while I've been busy working my ass off to give you and your brothers a roof to live under!" My eyes widened as my mother grew angrier.

"We're just friend. I promise." I tried explaining.

She shook her head. "That doesn't make me feel better!" She yelled. "You are fifteen!"

"Please he has a girlfriend and he thinks of me as a little sister." I said lying, I hoped he didn't think of me that way.

She sighed. "He is not to be over here again alone until I meet him." I nodded at my mother's request. "You need to set an example for your little brother. You're suppose to be watching him, not hanging out with boys."

I didn't understand why she needed me to watch after a twelve year old who was more than capable of taking care of himself. "I'm sorry." I wasn't.

I wasn't planning on listening to her. She was not around enough to catch me. My mom was either at work or at her new boyfriend's house. She tried to let us think she was working longer shifts but we knew she was seeing someone. I didn't care if she was seeing someone but having me do everything around here while she's screwing some guy made me feel bad.

Damon called me a few hours later when I got out of the shower and asked to go get something to eat. I was so excited to spend time with him. I put on a black skirt and a red dressy shirt. He came to pick me up and met my mother. He charmed her just like I knew he would. We got into his car and drove off to mystic grill, blasting coldplay on the radio. It felt like a date but I knew it wasn't.

"What do you want to get?" Damon asked me as we looked at our menus.

"Uh not sure." I looked at the prices knowing I couldn't afford much.

"The burgers are really great." He suggested, with a cute smile.

I nodded. "That sounds good." I wasn't feeling a burger, I feel gross enough and imagining the calories in a cheeseburger practically made me sick.

We ordered and I fiddled with my fingers. "Are you okay?" Damon asked as he picked up on my anxiety.

"Yeah I'm good." I smiled at him.

"Okay good. I can't have you unhappy." He says as I blush.

Our food arrived and Damon digged in. "So how's your sister doing?" I asked him before taking a tiny bite of my burger. I felt sick trying to swallow it.

He wiped his face with his napkin. "She's doing much better thankfully. Her injuries are healing pretty well." Damon said relieved.

I smiled. "I'm so glad to hear that." He continued eating as I took another small bite.

Damon noticed I was barely eating. "Are you not hungry?" He asked as he was nearly done his food.

I was starving. "Not really, I had a huge breakfast." I lied and he nodded his head.

As he finished his food I grabbed for my wallet to pay my half. "I got the check." He said.

I was surprised. "Are you sure?" I asked him.

"Yeah don't worry about it." Damon pulled out his wallet and paid the bill.

It felt like maybe this was a date? I've gotten so many mixed signals. We left the grill and headed back to my house.

As we pulled up to my house, I unblocked my seatbelt. "This was fun." I said turning to look at his handsome smile.

"Yeah it was such a great time. You looked really nice today." He complimented me.

I smiled brightly. "Thanks." I giggled.

He reached over and hugged me. "Sleep well." He whispered.

We pulled away I hoped he would kiss me but he didn't.

* * *

I felt dumb for thinking he might actually like me. I didn't look like those cheerleaders he was use to hanging out with. I wasn't skinny enough and I wasn't pretty enough. I was still a little naive girl and I wasn't special at all. Damon probably just felt sorry for me and that's why he spends so much time with me.

I was up all night beating myself up about everything, over thinking, and self loathing. It was really unhealthy. I hadn't eaten a full meal in days. I felt like the lack of food was taking a toll on my mind. I didn't know what to do. I felt gross and I needed to lose weight but I was a mess.

I ran downstairs and inhaled a tub of strawberry ice cream. It felt so good and tasted so good.

As I finished scarfing the ice cream down I felt an overwhelming amount of guilt, to the point of feeling sick to my stomach. I ran to the bathroom and kneeled down to the toilet. That was the first time I forced myself to throw up.

I felt in control of my body and I liked that.


	3. Chapter 3: Halloween

It was about a month into freshman year. A month knowing Damon Salvatore. Everyday I felt more and more head over heels for my best friend. Caroline kept insinuating that he liked me back since he's popular and still single but hanging out with me. I didn't think so. I couldn't help to think that maybe he was holding back because I was fifteen and he was two years older than me and knew that I wasn't allowed to date yet. Or maybe the age difference prevented us from ever being more than friends. I can't help but think about what will happen when he graduates being one year behind isn't that bad but two is hard. Caroline just wants me to tell him the truth and I know I can't. If I told Damon that I liked him it could ruin our friendship. There's a chance that he wouldn't want to me more than friends. It that's truth then I could lose him for just only being honest. It really sucks. Everytime I'm around him my heart races. It sounds ridiculous but I've never felt this way about someone before. It doesn't help that I'm fifteen and my hormones are still crazy. I've never even had my first kiss. He knows that too. He can get any secret out of me except the secret that I like him. During my freshman year I was always either with Caroline, Matt or Damon most of the time. It was rare that I was ever alone. I liked that. My family was never home so most of the time it'd just be me before this year. Even when Caroline lived with us she'd spend a lot of her time with Matt. When I got close to Damon he'd spend so much time at my house. He'd even use my balcony instead of my door when no one else was even home. It was romantic.

I walked into gym class. I had this class with a few of Damon's cheerleader friends. I always felt so self conscious in my shorts and tank top around these beautiful girls. It didn't help that Damon and all the others boys had gym class at the same time. Once in awhile our teachers would combine the classes for sport games. It was enough that I had to be around judgemental girls in this outfit, I didn't want Damon or Stefan to see this much of my disgusting body.

Rebekah and Vicky laughed while they stared at me warming up. "She thinks she has a shot with Damon." I overheard Rebekah say.

I was pretty sure she knew I could hear her. I felt horrible it was awful. I didn't understand how someone so sweet like Damon was ever friends with girls that were so mean. I looked over at the other side of the gym and Damon waved at me. I waved back and then turned my head toward Rebekah and Vicky. "Isn't that sweet?" I smirked as I watched them roll their eyes.

Becoming Damon's friend gave me a lot of confidence to be myself. I do own that to Damon he let me put my guard down and be myself. When you can be yourself with the most popular handsomest guy in school you can be yourself anywhere. I still didn't feel good about my body but I didn't have to hide who I was. The only thing I couldn't do with Damon is to be honest with him about my feelings. I've told him way worse than that he understood me. He listened and cared. So I knew if I ever did tell him how I feel he'd be a gentleman about it but no matter what it'd still ruin our friendship if he didn't like me back.

* * *

I spent Halloween with Caroline and Matt at Damon's party. It was his seventeenth birthday party he celebrates on Halloween because his birthday is so close to it. He's a year and 10 months older than me so for two months into the school year I was fifteen and he was sixteen. Technically for two months I could say he was only a year older than me. It was a fun party for most people I'm not the type of girl to get drunk at a house party. I had never been to a house party before and I wasn't sure if this counted because it was still a birthday and a costume party. I would have had more fun if Damon wasn't so busy thanking everyone for coming. I was dressed in normal clothes since I wasn't really into the Halloween thing this year. It was something I use to enjoy but I stopped liking it after fifth grade. My brother was dressed as spider man and I was a ariel. My older brother Jeremy was taking us out and he was with his girlfriend. He took his eye off of us and I ended up getting lost. It was terrifying for an ten year old. It was so dark out and I was looking for my brother but instead I was pushed down concrete steps. Some older kids thought it was funny so they took my candy then pushed me. It never appealed to me to ever dress up for Halloween again. Stefan did bother me that night. He was dressed in a vampire costume and he told me he wanted to sink his teeth into me. So classy. I wasn't falling for any of his bullshit.

Caroline and Matt came back from dancing all night. "Where's you boyfriend?" Matt asked me.

Caroline smacked his shoulder. "They aren't dating, shut up." She said in a bossy tone.

"It's fine." I scanned the room. "I haven't seen much of him tonight."

Caroline rubbed my arm. "It'll be okay, maybe you should go meet people." She wanted me to stop mopping.

"I'm not interested in meeting other people." My heart wanted Damon and I wasn't ready to move on.

She sighed. "You're miserable Elena! Just have some fun!" Caroline shouted.

Matt gave her a look. "I'm sorry Elena she's drunk and doesn't know what she's saying."

"It's fine." I was annoyed but I'll get over it.

"I'm going to get her home before her mom kicks my ass." He feared thinking about her cop mother finding out she was drinking.

I stood there alone for awhile. I didn't want to leave without getting to wish Damon a happy birthday. I didn't mind the weird looks or Rebekah and Vicky staring and making fun of me from a distance. I would put up with all of that for him. Enzo brought out the birthday cake and someone dimmed the lights as Damon walked into the room. We all sang him happy birthday and he was smiling. He looked so happy.

After he sang Enzo started cutting the cake and handing out pieces, Damon grabbed two plates and he walked over and handed one to me.

"Happy Birthday!" I shouted over the loud music.

He smiled. "Thank you!" Damon took a bite of his cake.

I started eating my piece as I didn't want to be rude. Damon finished his piece and went and helped Enzo with the rest of the cake. I threw my plate away and looked around before heading up to Damon's room. No one was allowed up here during the party but I didn't want to use the crowded downstair bathroom. I walked into Damon's room and into his bathroom, locking the door. I kneeled down at the toilet and emptied my stomach. This became a thing I did a few times a week. It made me feel better with my body. I had only lost three pounds but at least I wasn't gaining weight.

I cleaned myself up and then I rejoined the party. I was so bored after Caroline and Matt left. I didn't want to ruin Damon's birthday by following him around so I chilled by myself. I was really anxious watching everyone have a good time.

"Hey Elena!" Damon said, coming from the kitchen. "Having fun?"

"Yup!" I said with fake excitement.

"You're a bad liar." He laughed. He knew me so well.

"I'm sorry." I giggled.

"Let's get out of here." He smiled, grabbing my hand.

"What? You're having a party Damon!" I giggled at his suggestion.

"So? I'd rather have a good time with you." I blushed hard. He would rather spend time with me than be at his own birthday party.

We left the party and went for a walk by the lake.

"It's so pretty over here." I stared at the stars in the sky gleaming on the water. "I'd love to paint this one day."

Damon took out his phone and took a picture. "Now you can." He smiled.

"Thanks." We sat down on the grass. "How'd you enjoy your birthday?" I asked him as he laid back onto the grass.

I laid back too. "It was amazing. Thanks for coming, I know you get anxious around a lot of people. It means a lot that you put that aside to come celebrate." Damon said thankful.

"I would do anything for you." I said without thinking, I saw him smile briefly.

"Hey we should take a dip into the lake." Damon suggested as he stood put, pulling me up with him.

"What? It's October! Are you crazy?" I laughed.

"Yeah but it's not that cold out and we'll get use to the water." He took off his jacket. "Let's just have fun!"

"We don't have bathing suits." I was nervous at the idea of being in a bathing suit around anyone and especially him.

Damon pulled off his shirt and unbuckled his pants before pulling them off. He stood there in front of me in his boxers. I gulped and my hands were shaky, he was so sexy.

"Come on, have fun!" He said before heading into the freezing water.

I was hesitant to join him. I took off my skirt and jacket. I left my shirt on and joined him in the water. I felt better that it was dark out so he wouldn't be able to see much of me. I couldn't resist joining him even though I was terrified of him seeing this much of me. Damon was just so hypnotizing.

I got into the water and I was shaking. "It's so cold!" He swam closer to me and splashed me. "Hey!"

Damon stuck his tongue out at me. "Better seek some revenge." He splashed me again.

I forgot it was even cold. "Oh you know I will." I smirked and splashed him.

We had a splash fight for awhile before he forfeited and then a really nice conversation. I thought maybe he was going to make a move since this had felt so romantic but again he didn't. He kept his distance from me in the water. I still had a great time just being with him.

"It's getting late, we should get home." Damon said after twenty minutes.

We got out of the water and I was freezing in my wet shirt. I crossed my arms as I felt my nipples harden.

"Here take off those wet clothes and put on my shirt." He handed me his black shirt.

"But what about you? It's freezing." I looked at him as he was shivering too.

"I have my jacket." He turned around so i could get dressed. His shirt was so big on me but it was soft.

He walked me home. It was nice. I actually enjoyed Halloween for once.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

**10 reviews for chapter 4 **


	4. Chapter 4: Thanksgiving

Over the past few weeks Damon and I got closer. We bonded so well it was insane. The more time I spent with Damon the less time I spent throwing up. I couldn't do it around him and by the time he would go home I usually had digested my food already. I wasn't losing much weight. I felt awful but I tried to eat less and less. It was stressful hiding this secret but I loved spending time with him, it was worth it.

Caroline was so weird about my friendship with Damon. She couldn't tell if he liked me or not so one day she would be supportive and the next she would be judgemental. It was tiring explaining that I didn't care whether he had feelings for me or not. Damon meant the world to me I was happy having him in my life with or without a relationship.

After Halloween Stefan was back to bothering me everyday. I was exhausted by it. I kept it a secret from Damon because I didn't want him to be involved. It was never anything major he would just hit on me or make fun of me. It was like him and Rebekah resented my friendship with Damon so much that they both decided to make my life complicated. Rebekah didn't try so hard like Stefan. She made me feel bad just by looking at me. I was losing the fight to be strong in this situation. I was tired of being made fun of or the whispering. The biggest thing that happened was before Thanksgiving break. I was in the hallway talking to Caroline, and Stefan came up from behind me and snapped my bra strap. It happened so fast by the time I turned around he was gone. That's considered a form of sexual assault. It made me feel so bad. I didn't know what I deserved to be treated like that. I didn't even have to tell Damon because he heard it from everyone on the team. Damon confronted him and punched him right in the jaw. That was the last time he bothered me for months. Damon made me feel safe and I liked that.

Thanksgiving Day was spent at Damon's house. I usually spend it with my family but my older brother Jeremy couldn't afford to come home from college so my mom wanted to go to a spa since she had time off work. My little brother went to stay with my aunt Jenna and her husband Alaric. He loved going over there and so did I but I didn't really want to be around family. I spend most if time making sure my brother Max is okay that I just needed a break. My dad reached out to me about spending it with him but I didn't really feel the need to spend a depressing family dinner at his studio apartment. I still hold resentment over the way he just left us and thinks he can still spent time with me like nothing happened. I didn't want to spent time with him so I told him I had plans already. I slept over Caroline's that whole week and spent Thanksgiving with Damon while she went to her dad's. It was awesome meeting the rest of Damon's family. His older sister Hayley, and mom are really nice. I felt so at home and apart of the family. I knew where Damon got his nice qualities from. They taught him how to be a good guy. That was what I was thankful for this year.

It was hard being in front of all of these people. I was forced to eat or they would catch on. "So Elena what grade are you in?" Hayley asked me as she noticed I was young.

I swallowed my turkey reluctantly. "9th grade." I watched her face look over at Damon. I could tell she liked me but she seemed worried about her brother's intentions with me.

"Are you guys dating?" She asked blunty. My eyes widened, I looked over at Damon but I couldn't read his face.

"Hayley leave the poor girl alone." Damon's mother Lily said shaking her head. His father Giuseppe laughed.

She rolled her eyes. "What? I'm curious. Sue me." Hayley turned her head to look back at me. "So?"

I noticed Damon looked uncomfortable. "She's my best friend." He said as he took a bite of his dinner.

It was nice having him refer to me as his best friend, especially since Enzo was sitting at the same table but I wished he would've said something else.

After dinner Enzo and everyone left and Damon and I stayed to clean up. I hoped things weren't awkward after what Hayley was saying.

"Sorry about that Elena." Damon whispered to me as we were in the kitchen after clearing the table.

"Don't worry about it." I smiled at him while washing my hands.

"Hayley's really nosy but you'll get use to it." He mentioned as I giggled.

"Do you mind if I go upstairs and use your bathroom? I want to make a phone call." I wanted to use his bathroom so I could get rid of all that food I ate.

He nodded. "Of course."

I went upstairs and locked the bathroom door. I bended over the toilet and winced at my knee popping. It keeps happening a lot lately. I felt so weak and tired all of the time. My body was aching all of the time. I sleep for hours and hours. It's been rough. I knew it was from what I've been doing to myself but I didn't care about anything except being my weight goal. I would rather be tired and weak than fat. If this is what I needed to be happy with my body I could get over the rest.

I finished throwing up and I unlocked the door to see Damon standing there concerned. "Are you okay?" He asked me with worry in his eyes.

I wiped my mouth. "Yeah I'm fine." I said, panicked. I felt my face going white I couldn't believe he caught me. This is what I've been most terrified of.

Damon sat down on his bed. "You were just throwing up in there." He said patting the bed for me to sit next to him. "Are you sick?"

I nodded as I sat down, hoping to convince him. "I ate too much." I feared he was going to catch me. I didn't want anyone knowing my secret.

"Lay down. I'll go get you ginger ale." He offered.

I smiled weakly. "Thank you." I felt bad lying to him when he was being so sweet to me.

He went and got me ginger ale and crackers. "Here you go." Damon handed me the ginger ale.

I took a sip and sat it down. "I should be getting to Caroline's." I mentioned as I realized the time.

"Is anyone over there?" He asked me wanting to make sure I would be looked after.

"No Caroline's still at her dads and her mom isn't going to be home till the morning." Caroline's mom was in the next town over with distant family.

"Then you should stay here tonight." Damon suggested. "My parents will be fine with it. I don't want you to be alone while you are sick."

"I don't know." I knew my mom wouldn't be okay with it.

"Please? I want to take care of you." He begged me to stay out of worry.

I nodded. "Okay I'll stay." I smiled.

It was nice he wanted to make sure I wasn't alone and sick. He went to let his parents know while I texted Caroline's mom, Liz.

Damon made up a bed on the floor for himself. We talked for hours as we fell asleep. I loved spending time with him and his family. I wished to do this forever. I knew that wasn't reality but for now this was so nice.

I woke up the next morning to Damon carrying a tray with toast and eggs. I smiled as I stretched my arms. "Is this all for me?" I smirked.

"Yeah, yeah don't get use to it." He chuckled. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." I smiled as I took a small bite of the toast.

"Good." He smiled at me.

I played sick for another hour before I headed back to Caroline's for another night. I couldn't believe I fooled him like that. I did feel bad but at the same time I was so relieved. I don't know if he would be friends with me if he knew what I did behind closed doors.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

**Let me know what you think if want more review**


	5. Chapter 5: Christmas

I got home from the last day of school for the next two weeks. I was really excited for Christmas break this year. I missed Jeremy so much. This was the longest I had ever gone without seeing him. He use to be a big part of my life. Before I took on the responsibility of looking out for Max, Jeremy took that responsibility and looked out for the both of us. I really never thanked him for how much he did for us and I feel guilty that I didn't appreciate him enough at the time. I don't really know how he managed to get into a good school with all he did. I admire that about him. He never once complained about it like I did. I missed being looked after. I think that's why I really love being around Damon. He truly cares about my well being and as much as I love my mom and Caroline, they aren't around much.

"Miss me?" I heard as I walked into the living room.

My eye widened. "Jere!" I freaked out in excitement.

I ran into my brother's arms. "I missed you." He hugged me tightly.

"I missed you so much." I was nearly in tears. It was so good to see him.

We pulled away and sat on the couch. "You look so thin. Is everything okay?" He noticed my weight loss that I hadn't.

"Yeah I've just been working out a lot with my friend." I smiled at the thought that I was losing weight. No one here noticed because they spend a lot of time with me.

"Caroline and Matt?" He wondered.

"No I met this guy Damon. He's really nice and I've been hanging out with him all the time." I explained.

"Damon Salvatore?" He asked as I nodded. "Elena he's older than you."

"It's not like that. We are friends and nothing more." I tried to convince him.

My brother didn't like the idea of me hanging out with Damon since he's older but I was determined to get them to like each other.

He sighed. "I don't know Elena-"

"Can you just meet him?" I asked. "He's coming over Christmas afternoon and I would love it if you could meet him and get to know him." I put on my puppy dog eyes.

Jeremy rolled his eyes and smiled. "Okay! Fine! You and your puppy dog eyes." I knew I would give this.

I smiled. "Thanks Jere." I hugged him.

I spent Christmas Eve hanging out with my brothers and my mom for once. It was really nice it took me out of my head for once I wasn't thinking about my body or getting rid of food. I just spent a normal night with my family. It was something I really needed. Having my brother around and seeing my mom around and actually paying attention to us was the best Christmas present I could ever ask for. I was happy.

"Honey do you want a slice of pie?" My mom asked me with a smile on her face. Something I never see.

I nodded. "Sure." I took the pie and I sat between Jeremy and Max.

"So how's school?" Jeremy asked Max.

Mom took a sip of her wine and looked at my brother. "It's been great. I've made a lot of new friends." Max explained.

"Wow that's great buddy!" Jeremy smiled and turned his head to me. "What about you Elena?"

"It's fine." I said before taking another bite.

"Just fine?" My mom wondered.

"What about friends? Is Damon still coming over tomorrow?" He asked me.

"Yeah! I'm really excited for you to meet him." My face lit up.

My mom and brothers laughed my sudden mood change. "I'm looking forward to it." Jeremy said.

We cleaned up and watched Christmas movies on the couch till we all fell asleep.

Christmas morning was nice and special. I expected today to be bad but after last night this year Christmas was actually really cool. Damon spent the morning with his family but came over my house for lunch and to open presents we got each other.

A knock at the door my brother answered it and let Damon in. "Hey, I'm Damon." He said, extending his hand out to shake Jeremy's.

"Yeah I know who you are." Jeremy said as he shook his hand.

Jeremy's a freshmen an ivy league college. He graduated High School a year early, my mom was so proud of him. Damon actually remembered him sort of. He just remembered seeing a smart guy always running the science fairs. That made me laugh. Jeremy was surprised his little sister was hanging out with the most popular guy in school. My brother always thought Damon was a jerk like Stefan. When Jeremy was a junior, Damon was a sophomore so Jeremy remembered that Damon was the most popular guy in the sophomore class. My little brother Max thought Damon was really cool. Max is in seventh grade and he's very immature but at the same time he's mature enough to take care of himself. Max is never home until the time my mom comes home. She has no idea when she gets home he had be gone all day. I didn't really mind being alone after school. I know Max can take care of himself. I liked being able to have Damon over and not have anyone keep checking on us. We had grown so close I didn't want to be apart for over a week. I thought he'd be busy the whole time and not have time to call me. He had fun and we talked a few times on the phone. It actually wasn't that bad. I spent more time with Caroline and Matt but I missed him.

After Jeremy's integration I think Damon won him over because he left us alone to open presents.

"You didn't have to get me anything." Damon said when I handed him his present.

"Of course I did. I'm not going to let you buy me something and not give you anything." I laughed. I got Damon a hockey jersey he really wanted and couldn't stop talking about. When he opened it, his face lit up.

"Elena I can't believe you actually got me this." He was so shocked which made me smile.

"Thank you!" He hugged me tightly and put his jersey back in the bag. Damon handed me my present.

"It's not as good as what you got me but I hope you like it." Damon smiled and handed it to me. He got me a necklace that said my name. It was so pretty.

"Wow it's amazing." I looked at him he was smiling.

"You like it?" Damon asked.

"I love it." I turned around and pulled my hair up as Damon put the necklace on me. I shivered at his touch as he clasped the necklace on. I was so in love with my necklace it was beautiful and it came from someone who cares about me. It was the best present I have ever gotten.

"Thank you so much Damon!" I hugged him wanting to never let go.

Over Christmas break Damon left the day after Christmas to go skiing for New Years. I was really bummed out not being able to see him on New Years. All year I kept fantasizing that he'd give me my first kiss at midnight.

I woke up two days later to my brother Jeremy knocking on my door. I opened it and let him in. It had been nice to spend the past few days with him, though he was acting weird. I knew he was leaving soon and I was really bummed about it. When he was around I felt like I didn't have to be responsible. I felt like I had a break from everything again. Most importantly I felt like someone was looking out for me.

"Hey sis." He said as he walked in and sat down next to me.

"What's going on?" I asked noticing he was upset.

He sighed. "This is hard to talk about." Jeremy said and I was getting anxious. "I've noticed that you haven't been eating and you go to the bathroom after every meal." My body was shaking. He knew. "Listen, don't deny it. I know what bumilia looks like." I teared up and he pulled me into a hug.

"Jere-" I was so scared.

"Shh, I know you're dealing with a lot." He rubbed my back. "It doesn't mean you can treat your body like this. You are beautiful and you don't need to do this to yourself." I could tell his heart was breaking for me.

"I'll stop." I cried in his arms.

"I think I should tell mom and we can get you into therapy." He suggested.

I shook my head. "No I don't want anyone to know! Please, I'll go see a therapist but let's keep this between us." I pleaded but he wasn't agreeing.

"I can't just leave without knowing if you'll be okay." He was concerned.

"I'll video chat you whenever you want and do whatever you want me to do." I did everything I could to explain to him that I didn't want anyone to know.

After a long conversation he agreed. "I won't tell mom but I'm going to come home more and if you aren't better I will be having a conversation with everyone."

I was so relieved that he wasn't going to tell mom on me. He was right. I wasn't treating my body fairly. I was lacking energy all the time and I never felt good. Before he left my he taught me what to do to keep up with a healthy diet and light exercise. I planned on sticking to it as much as I could. I didn't want to let him down. He took me to see a therapist and I tried to talk about everything I was dealing and it was good. We spent a good amount of time together before he left and it was Damon got back from skiing the first thing he did was have a TV/movie marathon with me. It was really nice as was every moment I spent with him.

Sometimes it actually felt like we were more than just friends. He did more for me than most people in relationships actually do. Damon would wait for me outside of a few of my classes. He'd kiss my cheek, put his arm around me all the time and pay for me when we'd go to the food court or the diner despite how much I'd argue with that. It felt so real and I wasn't the only one that saw it like that. The only thing missing was the actual boyfriend title. My New Years resolution along with controlling my bulimia was to find a way to be honest with Damon and stop being afraid. Caroline would be pissed off if I didn't make it my resolution. She was annoyed hearing about how much I like Damon when I could be doing something about it when I'm not. She's not like me in that way. When she realized she liked Matt she went up to him and kissed him on the swing set. It was so unexpectedly brave for a seventh grader. That's why Caroline couldn't understand why I wasn't being honest. She thinks that if you feel a certain way you owe it to yourself to be truthful. I see what she meant and I know I also owe it to Damon. It's still hard being so vulnerable and opening my heart when I know it could break.


	6. Chapter 6: Vulnerable

I walked into school on the first day back from winter break and I felt so much better than I did last time i was in these halls. I had been eating more and puking less. I haven't stopped but I've been trying to fight that urge as best as I can. My body felt better but I still felt fat and insecure. My body was also changing a lot my breasts were getting bigger and my curves were developing. I liked it because I looked more like a woman and less like a kid but I wanted to be in better shape. My brother told me now that I have more energy, I can work out and not be exhausted. I decided I was going to go on morning runs. I got up early and went for a run this morning and then hopped in the shower before Damon came over to get me for school. The therapist gave me the tips as well. I was supposed to keep seeing her after my brother left but I didn't.

"Hey Elena!" Caroline yelled from across the room, she came over to me with Matt on her arm.

I smiled. "Hey guys. How was your break?" I hadn't seen them since I was spending time with my family and Damon.

"It was great. Caroline got drunk off of one spiked eggnog on Christmas Eve and told all of her little cousins that Santa isn't real." Matt chuckled.

I laughed as Caroline smacked Matt's arm. "Just one?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Okay maybe I stole some of Matt's." Caroline giggled and kissed his cheek.

They were sweet. I wanted a love like that.

I sat at lunch a few hours later and waited for all my friends. I was rarely the first one here since Matt's art class was down the hall. I pulled out a sandwich from my lunch bag. It was wheat bread and turkey and I had an orange. I knew it was going to be hard eating this. Usually would eat something unhealthy like pizza and then go to the bathroom afterwards. Other times I would eat nothing and tell my friends that either ate a big breakfast or getting food after school.

"Hey sexy." I heard come from behind me as he sat down.

I rolled my eyes. "What do you want Stefan?" I didn't want to see his face here.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Just checking out that hot bod of yours up close." Stefan smirked and looked at my boobs.

I shivered. "You are so gross." I watched him smile as if he was proud of being gross. He probably was. "Can you leave now?" I asked him.

"Now why would I do that?" Stefan said cocky.

He grabbed my orange and took a bite. "Because Damon is right over there." I pointed to the lunch line he was standing in.

Stefan rolled his eyes and got up. "You'll change your mind about me. Just you wait." He said before patting my head.

I was so irritated he treated me like a fucking dog. I wanted to tell everyone how disgusted I was but I thought it was better to keep it to myself. Stefan clearly wanted attention and I wasn't going to let him know that he was getting to me.

Once school ended I waited for Damon outside. My phone rang a minute later. "Hello?" I answered, wondering why Damon was calling me.

"Hey Elena. I have hockey tryouts this week so will you be alright walking home?" He asked me.

"Yeah sure." I was happy for him but I didn't know why he hadn't mentioned it.

"Maybe I'll stop by after." He mentioned before we hung up.

I walked home and when I got inside I cooked dinner for my brother and made myself a salad. I went upstairs and called Jeremy as I did my homework. He was pleased to hear I was doing well and I was kind of. I've been working so hard on being better and controlling my bulimia but I also promised myself that I was going to be honest to Damon and I hadn't. Tonight he was coming over. I could tell him about my feelings and finally be honest with him and myself. I was scared of the rejection and the vulnerability. I knew it was time but I was so anxious thinking about being honest with him.

A few hours later Damon showed up all sweaty and gross from hockey but I didn't mind it. I was ready to tell him everything I've felt this whole time we've been best friends. I was starting to get excited instead of anxious.

"What'd you eat for dinner?" Damon asked as we sat in my kitchen.

Max stood at the fridge grabbing the chilli and cornbread I had made for him and my mom earlier. "She didn't eat a thing." My brother intentionally threw me under the bus.

Damon shot a look at me. "It's almost ten. Why didn't you eat?" He asked me, realizing that was strange.

"I had a big lunch but I made myself a salad so I'll just eat that now," I said covering my own tracks.

Max looked at me confused. "This salad?" He held it up. "It's only lettuce and tomatoes. That can't be filling." It was a small salad.

Damon shook his head. "No you didn't have a big lunch at all. You had half a turkey sandwich and like half an orange." He was so suspicious.

I was sick to my stomach in anxiety, my hands were shaking. "I meant a big breakfast." I nodded in hope he would believe me.

"Elena you had half a banana and gave me the other half." Max said as he threw his bowl of chilli in the microwave.

Damon turned his head back from looking at Max and noticed my uneasy behavior. "Elena what is going on?" He asked, I couldn't speak. "You practically haven't eaten today and your not hungry? You should have some chilli." He added and grabbed a bowl.

"No!" I yelled. I was trying so hard not to throw up the food I was forcing myself to eat but I knew I would slip up if I ate any of that.

Damon's face was full of concern. "Max can you go upstairs? He asked my brother. I knew he was piecing things together.

"Sure." Max said as he took his food and left.

I looked at Damon with worry. "Elena, are okay? Why haven't you been eating much lately?" He asked as he took my hand.

I tried so hard to think of excuses but I was running out of them. "I don't know." I felt my eyes water in fear of him discovering my deepest of secrets. I felt extremely exposed and vulnerable.

Damon's face softened. "Hey come on don't cry." He pulled me closer and I looked into his eyes.

I could see how concerned for me he was, how much he cared. I felt horrible and embarrassed.

"It's so hard Damon." Tears fell from my eyes. This was the first time I cried in front of him.

He pushed the hair out of my eyes and wiped away my tears before taking both of my hands. "You can tell me anything. I'm so worried about you Elena." Damon was heartbroken to see me in pain. "Just talk to me."

I sighed knowing I had to tell him. "I'm insecure about my body. I feel disgusting. I haven't been eating and when I do I get rid of it." I could see Damon was shocked as he was taking in the information I gave him together. "I've been doing this for awhile." I cried.

Damon pulled me into a hug. "It's okay. You're going to be okay." He reassured me.

I didn't know if I was going to be okay, but I knew that in my darkest moment of my life with the darkest secret I bared my best friend was there for me and he didn't walk away.

"I promise you that we will figure this out Elena." Damon reassured me.

I sighed and backed up, trying to breath again. "I don't know. I feel so bad." I said honestly.

Damon pulled me close. "Elena. You are so beautiful and you don't even know it." Damon wiped the tears off on my face and pulled me into a hug. I was hurting so badly and he held me tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too." I whispered.

Damon made sure I was okay before he took off. He was being so good to me and I don't deserve it. I didn't know how he could make me feel on top of the world in a split second. He promised that we would come up with a way to get myself healthy again and that I wasn't alone in this. I decided not to tell Damon how I felt yet. I thought it would be better to love myself more first. He made me want to see myself in a better way.

* * *

I spent most of January going to therapy a few times a week and talking through everything with Jeremy and Damon. I was making so much progress. Each day is a struggle but I'm starting to see myself better. Damon's been going on runs with me a few times a week so I can keep up with a healthier diet. I've been eating and I haven't purged in awhile. My brother is so proud of me, my friends are proud of me and Damon is proud of me but most importantly I'm proud of myself.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

**I'm not sure if I should continue this. I haven't gotten much feedback so I guess let me know. I would like to if you wanted me to.**


	7. Chapter 7: Valentine's Day

The Valentine's Day Semi Formal was coming up. It was for every class. I was nervous because it was my first dance. We had a homecoming dance earlier in the year and I was excited for two weeks, but I didn't go to the homecoming dance because Damon was sick and I decided to hang out with him. He tried to convince me to go but I didn't want to. I wouldn't have fun if he wasn't there. The theme for the semi formal was so cool. It was for everyone to dress in white. Even the guys. I loved the idea since I had recently bought a white dress. It wasn't anything fancy just a regular white dress. I had felt really good about my body. I visually noticed a change in my weight. My body had started filling out and I felt like I had a nice figure. I started throwing up less and tried to eat better instead. It gave me more energy. I knew everyone was proud of me. I was excited for this dance looking like this I knew I was going alone and it's weird. Damon was going with his jock friends. Not all of his jock friends were assholes but a lot were. He only decided to go with him because the team likes to make packs that if you don't have a date they all go stag together. Plus he knew I could just go with Matt and Caroline and see him there. I still haven't told him my feelings. That was my New Years resolution but the year has just begun. I still have time to admit it. When I got to school that day I found a note in my locker. It said

"I know how beautiful you're going to look tonight."

I couldn't tell if it was from Damon or not. It could have just been Damon being sweet which doesn't mean anything more than just his usual self. If It's from Stefan he's totally bothering me again and that sucks. I wonder if it's from a secret admirer. That would kinda be cool. I like Damon but if I found a guy to get my mind off of him, maybe that was the answer. School was normal and Damon didn't say anything about the note, so I concluded it wasn't him. When I got home there was a rose laying on my doorstep. I picked it up and the tag said

"Happy Valentine's Day Cutie. Pick you up at 7." I smiled and danced. It has to be Damon since it was left on my doorstep. I was beyond excited.

I was already to go and dressed up. It was 7 and no sign of Damon. I was confused because his car wasn't in the driveway. Originally I had plans to go with Caroline and Matt but when I got the rose I told her I had a ride. My mom went to her boyfriend's for Valentine's Day. Max was at a friend's house so I just waited and waited. It was twenty minutes later when I heard a knock I was relieved he's here I was getting worried. I opened the door and noticed it wasn't Damon. It was Stefan.

"What are you doing here?" I said upset seeing my date was Stefan.

"Picking up you babe." He chuckled and touched my arm, I shuddered and moved back.

"No you're not, I won't go with you." I went to close the door. I was so disgusted.

"Oh really? Then who are you going to go with? I know Damon's having fun without you." He was so cocky.

"I'd rather not go than to go with you." I said with so much anger in my voice. Stefan grabbed me by my waist and pulled me close so I was pressed up against him.

"Come on Gilbert. You're hot and I'm hot. We can have a lot of fun together." He tried to kiss me but I broke free and pushed him off.

"Stay away from me!" I closed my door and I ran inside and up to my room lying on my bed, balling my eyes out.

I messed up all of my makeup smearing it all over my face. I was so disgusted at everything that happened. I couldn't believe he tried to kiss me. I thought this night would be special. Instead I almost went out with Stefan. He was almost my first kiss and that is the last thing I want. I was so scared. Now I have no way to the dance. I can't just call Damon and say "Oops I thought you were taking me to the dance but instead it was Stefan the stupid jerk." Nope I can't say that. I did get a call from Damon it was an hour later when he called. I didn't answer since I was in the bathroom rubbing the smeared makeup off of my face trying to calm down.

When I went back to my room I saw Damon standing on my balcony. I was shocked to see him, he was supposed to still be at the semi formal having the time of his life.

"Damon?" I managed to get out. I was shocked.

"Hey stranger." He noticed my puffy eyes.

"Hi." I said feeling down. He looked nice in his white suit.

"Where were you tonight?" Damon wondered as he walked over to me. "You're all dressed up. Caroline told me you had a date."

"Yeah I did but it didn't work out." I looked down trying not to be upset.

"He stood you up?" A look of sympathy filled his face.

"Kind of." I didn't want him to know the truth.

"I'm so sorry Elena." He felt bad.

"It's okay." I whispered. "I just wanted the night to be special. I wanted to have my first slow dance and have my first kiss with someone who really cares about me." I spoke as he smiled.

"What?" Damon walked over to my stereo and played a slow song. "What are you doing?" I asked him as my knees shook.

"Come here." He took my hand and we danced. It was so unexpected. I had my arms wrapped around neck and his were on my waist as my head laid on his chest. "Who says you need to be surrounded by tons of people to have a special night?" I smiled as he whispered. It was the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. We danced for a while it was so special.

"Elena?" I looked up at him staring into his blue eyes. There was a deep connection between us in the brief moment before I answered him, I knew he had to have felt it too.

"Yes?" I whispered softly

"I know it might not be the same but I do care about you." He leaned into me to kiss me I closed my eyes.

His lips on mine were so soft. Nothing more felt so right. It wasn't just some kiss either. He deepened it. It felt so passionate the kiss felt like it lasted forever. In reality it was only about 30 seconds. It was the most magical fairy-tale moment. I couldn't have asked more for my first kiss. We pulled away looking into each others eyes. Wow.

We didn't speak after we pulled away. We just continued dancing until the music stopped playing slow songs and changed to a different genre. He turned the radio off as I sat down on my bed. I was still in shock over this perfect night with my best friend.

"So was that special enough for your first dance?" He chuckled sitting next to me, I smiled.

"Yes." I was still giddy from the kiss.

We ended up putting a movie on and laid next to each other. Damon was so sweet to do that for me. I couldn't think about anything much beside how badly I wanted to be more than friends. Tonight was amazing, I don't care how it started because it ended so perfectly. I tried to stay awake but Damon and I had fallen asleep during the movie. I woke up next to him the next morning. Even in the morning he still looked so good looking. I had never spent the night with a guy before. He'd stay late all the time but never till the next morning. I woke him up and he called home to let his mom know he's okay. He went home and I called Caroline to tell her what happened. After I got off the phone I just laid in my bed thinking. I had my first kiss with my best friend. I didn't know how to think or feel about it. It was amazing but I wanted to know how he felt. If it was a kiss of friendship, or did he just feel it was right. I didn't know. I spent the rest of the day gushing to Caroline about how amazing it was. A first kiss is one of the most memorable moments in someone's life. I'm lucky enough to say I had a pretty fantastic first kiss experience.


	8. Chapter 8: Moving On

The next day after Damon kissed me everything was back to normal and it wasn't awkward. I went to his Hockey game with Matt and Caroline. His coach suggested everyone take on another sport when football season is over to stay in shape. Damon seems to enjoy hockey way more than football but he will never admit to that. He was good at it too. Stefan was on his team. I can't stand it. I feel like everywhere I go he's there. I'm still uncomfortable and vexed about what he did last night. I could never tell Damon he grabbed me and tried to kiss me. If I told him then he would know that I thought I was going to the dance with him. I know what he'd do if he knew the truth. He'd first punch Stefan then he would probably give a just friends speech and we'd slowly stop being friends. It's the most likely thing to happen since he's two years older than me. It drove me crazy that we never discussed the kiss. I thought he'd at least tell me he did it to make a moment special for me but he just pretended that it never happened. It was okay. I wasn't upset about everything going back to normal. We didn't hang out as much but it was normal when we did. He got over it I guess. I just wish it didn't have to be like this and that he'd own up to kissing me instead of tucking it away.

"Do you think he likes you?" Caroline asked unable able to decipher what we meant to each other.

"Probably not in that way I want him to. I was excited but I think I read too much into it. He was being a good guy that's all." I sighed as I watched the hockey players skate off.

"I'm sorry Elena but maybe you need to move on." She half hugged me. "It'll be okay babe. You always have Matt and I." Caroline smiled sweetly.

"I will eventually." I nodded as I pulled away to see Damon score a goal.

Damon came over to us after the game. They won.

"How'd I do?" He asked us with the biggest smile on his face. He was proud of himself.

"Great!" Caroline cheered.

"Congrats man!" Matt shook his hand.

I smiled at his excitement. "You did amazing Damon." I held my hands out and double high fived him. He was so ecstatic.

"Thanks guys." He hugged me and we all left.

It made me so happy to see him doing what he loves. It was attractive.

* * *

A couple of days later I hadn't talked to Damon much he was busy. I didn't let it bother me too much. I sat in the library reading a magazine I had a free period.

"Are you waiting for anyone?" A dark haired guy with huge muscles asked me.

"Uh no." I was confused as he sat down in front of me.

"I'm Tyler." He extended as hand out to me.

"Elena." I shook his hand wondering what he wanted. "What do you need?" I said bluntly I can get snippy if I'm in a bad mood. I've been in a bad mood all week.

"I wanted to know if you wanted to go out sometime." He laughed at my attitude.

"Really?" I was surprised that he was really cute I don't know him though so I didn't know if it was a good idea.

"You're really pretty and I've seen you around. I'd like to get to know you." He charmed his way into getting what he wanted.

"Okay sure." I agreed after thinking about it. Caroline wants me to get over my crush to Damon and maybe going out with Tyler will help.

We exchanged our phone numbers and we talked for a little bit. I got to know him better. He seemed nice. The same age as me and that's a good thing. Tyler was smart and funny but I didn't feel a spark or immediate connection like I did with Damon. I felt like I still needed to give it a try. He invited me out tomorrow and I'm kind of excited. I went home and started cooking dinner for everyone. I threw the chicken in the oven and started cutting up tomatoes. I heard the door close and my brother walked into the kitchen with a few people. I was surprised to see that he had so many friends.

"Hey." I said shyly looking around at all the kids. "Who are your friends Max?" I questioned my little brother. This was off beat for him.

"Elena this is April, Violet, and Kol." Max said as he pointed to the three strangers in my house.

"Nice to meet you." I looked at the clock. "Are you all staying for dinner?" I panicked as there wasn't enough to go around.

"Only April. She's my girlfriend." Max smiled at April and put his arm around her.

My eyes widened. "Girlfriend? You guys are too young." I can't believe my brother got a girlfriend before I've even gone on a date.

I called Caroline to come over and help me finish dinner and so I didn't have to third wheel my brother's date. Once she got here we did our homework and finished cooking. We ate fast so we didn't have to stare at the two lovebirds. It was annoying and gross. I took Caroline up to my room and I told her about my date with Tyler.

"This is going to be awesome!" Caroline screamed with excitement, sitting on my bed.

"RELAX!" I yelled back laughing. "I swear you're way more excited than me." I rubbed my ears.

"Finally we're both going to have boyfriends." Caroline smiled at the idea of her fantasy that she's had since the day her and Matt got together of both of us having boyfriends to double date with might be coming true.

"I'm not getting married like chill it's one date." I was getting annoyed with my best friend.

"I'm sorry it's because I thought you were going to be stuck on Damon for the rest of the next couple years. Finally it's over." She was so happy but I wasn't.

"Thanks." I rolled my eyes at her comment.

"What are you guys doing on your date?" She looked at me wondering.

"I don't know I guess I'll find out tomorrow." I said before hearing a knock on my window.

It was Damon.

"Oh hey Caroline." Damon said closing the window door behind him.

"Hey, uh Elena I should be going now Matt's going to be waiting for me. Bye guys" She waved to Damon.

"Okay see you tomorrow Care." I hugged her.

"Let me know how what you and Tyler plan on." Caroline winked at me before leaving. I knew she had to have done it on purpose to let Damon know. It pissed me off because I didn't want him to know unless it was necessary.

"Who's Tyler?" Damon sat on my bed and laid back.

"My date for tomorrow night." I gulped. I had no idea how he would react.

"Oh." He looked at me as his face dropped. "Who is this guy?" I felt like I saw disappointment in his face but I didn't say anything.

"I don't know I just met him today." I fiddled with my hands.

"Do you think it's smart to go out with someone you don't know?" He questioned me.

"If I only went out with guys I know… You'd be the only person I-" I didn't want to finish what I was going to say.

"Sorry I'm being a little protective but I don't want you dating some creep Elena." It was nice he expressed so much concern for me.

"It's okay." This was different but I liked that he was worried about me going out with someone.

"This isn't the guy that stood you up for the dance right?" Damon asked as he sat down.

"No not at all I promise I'm not that stupid." We laughed slightly. I was still sensitive over the whole dance lie I made up.

"Good." He paused and ruffled his hair. "I could probably find a date for tomorrow if you want to double?" He oddly suggested.

"No!" I said loudly. The last thing I wanted. "Please stay out of it Damon." I asked him.

"I'm sorry." He agreed to drop the conversation.

We watched a movie and didn't bring it up again. I was really angry with Caroline for forcing me to tell Damon about my date. I wasn't even sure if I liked Tyler yet.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

**Max's friends aren't going to be anything like their characters from the show so don't be stress over Kol hahaha. Just pulled some names for his friends. Also can you please review and let me know what you think. The more feedback I get the faster I update. **


	9. Chapter 9: Party

The next day I met Tyler at his friend's house. It wasn't a far walk from my house thankfully. I was kind of dreading this date since I woke up this morning. I wasn't sure why but my excitement for this date faded over night. I didn't really know enough about Tyler to want to go out with him. I already told people I was going out with him. I didn't want to look like a liar. It's one night of my life it's not a big deal and besides he seems nice. I got all dressed up to find out that this wasn't just me that arrived here. I walked inside he was with a bunch of guys. This wasn't exactly a real date. I thought we would be alone.

Tyler saw me and didn't even bother abandoned his friends. I tapped his shoulder to gain his attention. "Who's house is this?" I asked him as I was confused. He didn't even get a chance to greet me once I walked over.

"Some popular guy. I don't really know." He said as he chuckled, turning back to his friends.

"Thanks for the details Ty." I rolled my eyes. What kind of a date was this?

Tyler pulled me aside. "I thought we'd have a causal group first date." He grinned with this ugly plaid shirt.

"This? This is not a date. It's not even a group date I don't know anyone." I said as I turned around. I was two seconds away from leaving.

"Wait Elena!" Tyler followed me. "Please don't leave." He pleaded as I crossed my arms. "You'll meet my friends. Cmon this will be the pre to our first date!" Tyler exclaimed as I noticed he was looking down my shirt. A bunch of people started arriving it was clear that it a party.

"This is a party not a fucking date." I snapped because he was bugging me.

"So?" I was over this and separated away from him.

I was going to leave but I decided it might be fun to stay for awhile. I wanted to stay at the party because after getting fake stood up and now this I don't want to look this pathetic. I didn't know what to do at a party especially without my friends. I stood by living watching people have fun. I feel like a loner it was getting sad. I got thirsty so I went towards the kitchen. I saw Stefan and I quickly walked past him hoping he wouldn't see me.

"Hey Elena wait up!" Stefan followed me.

"What do you want?" I sighed, stopping in my tracks. "Can you go away? Just leave me alone Stefan please." I begged him.

"A pretty girl shouldn't be alone at a party it's not safe." He grabbed my hand as if he expected my reaction to change.

"Get out of my way or I'll make sure you can't have children." I smirked.

His eyes widen as he was surprised at my comment. "Got the message." He didn't try to fight because some other girl caught his eye.

I was done being treated badly by him. I was tired of the harassment at his hand. Ever since the Stefan incident on Valentine's Day I feel like it's made me stronger. I feel like I can actually defend myself and my name. There was not going to be another indicince. I walked into the kitchen I grabbed a handful of m&ms once I realized I hadn't eaten today.

"Lemonade?" Some girl offered me.

"Yeah thank you." I smiled, taking a sip of my drink. I flinched. "This is-"

"Hard lemonade. Don't be a child." She laughed at the disgusting reaction I had written all over my face.

"I'm not it was unexpected." It was the first sip of alcohol I've ever had but I would never admit that to her.

"Here you go try something a little harder." She handed me a different drink. I stared at my drink and back at her. I wanted to fit in and maybe that meant having fun. I took a sip and then another one. Before downing the whole cup. "Thatta girl." She laughed. "I'm Bonnie."

"Elena. It's nice to meet you!" I smiled as I shook her hand.

I didn't really want to drink. It's not my thing and I was never comfortable but if I'm trying to fit in with older people I need to act older. A big reason why Damon looks at me like a little sister is because I act my age. I need to be more mature and at the same time fun. I have to balance it well. I want to be myself but I'm afraid he'll never want me in that kind of way. I can change myself.

"I'm gonna go if you ever wanna hang out with me and my friends you can add me on instagram." She told me her handle and left.

I went over to the keg and got myself a beer. I had already felt the alcohol I already drank go to my head but I felt okay. People were looking at me as if I belonged now instead of staring at the freak glued to the wall. i liked it.

I walked into the other room and I seen Damon. I was surprised that he was here. I didn't want to explain how badly my date turned out but I guess I had to.

"Hey!" He smiled coming over to me.

"Hey Damon." I smiled back sipping my drink.

"What are you doing here?" Damon asked as he was shocked to see me at a party.

"My date turned out to not be a date. He wanted to prove to his friends he could get a girl probably." I laughed I didn't want him to know but I guess the alcohol made me not care about that. I didn't really care about Tyler being a jerk either I met him yesterday.

"I'm sorry he's a dick." Damon hugged me tightly. He was so warm.

"It's not that I really care I don't really know him but I'm glad I didn't waste my first date with him." We laughed.

"Why don't you call Caroline and get out of here?" Damon asked clearly not wanting me to be here. I didn't blame him.

"No I'll be fine here. She's out with Matt anyway." I wanted to stay and prove to him I could have fun around his older friends.

"I can take you home if you want to?" He suggested as he looked around at the mess of people surrounding us.

"I'm good I promise. I'd like to stay." I knew he didn't want me in this kind of crowd but I don't want him to feel like he has to babysit me.

"This really isn't your kind of scene Elena." Damon pointed out something I was aware of.

"I want to have fun for once Damon. This is the first real party other than yours I've ever been to." I finished my drink.

"Okay fine." He gave in. "But don't leave without letting me know okay?" I nodded at his request. It was cute he worried.

"Hey Damon!" A beautiful girl from his class pulls him away from the conversation. She was stunning. I sighed and went to get another drink.

"Shot?" Tyler came up from behind me offering me a shot of something. Of course he comes back now when I'm having fun.

"No thank you." I wasn't too into him anyway.

"Elena I'm sorry I wasted your time. Can we still be friends?" He asked me as he held two shots in his hand.

I looked at him. "Okay fine." I took the shot.

Tyler talked to me for a couple of minutes but I really wasn't paying attention. Eventually he went off with his friends again. I didn't really know why he even bothered interacting with me but I wasn't going to turn the shot down.

I was feeling my drinks. I noticed that Damon and his girl friend were interacting so effortlessly. They looked like a normal couple together like they were having fun. It hurt to see him fit in well with other people. I could never be that for him and he would never want someone like me. She was so thin and gorgeous. I wasn't as thin or as pretty as she was with her golden blonde hair. I was sure she didn't have any imperfections either. I watched her whisper something in his ear. My heart hurt.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

**Reviews please next chapter gets very Delena heavy hahaha. **


	10. Chapter 10: Drunk

I was feeling tipsy before that shot now I was full on drunk. I don't know what I was thinking really by drinking so much. I didn't want to feel like an outsider anymore. I had lost track of Damon in between getting drinks. I looked around for him but no sign of him. The last drink was starting to hit me really hard I was dizzy. I remember when I thought I wasn't the type to get drunk at a house party. Here I am at my first real house party drunk. Who am I becoming?

"Elena? You okay?" I heard Damon yelling from behind me. I smiled. He could tell something was off.

"Hey! There you are!" I said drunkenly. I tried to hide it but I kind of smelled like a bottle of vodka so I'm pretty sure I wasn't doing a good job.

Damon raised his eyebrow at the sight of me. "Have you been drinking?!" He was shocked at my behavior. In his defense this wasn't me.

"No I'm fine." I giggled. I walked closer to him my balance wasn't very good.

"Wow you're so drunk." Damon looked unsure what to do. I lowered myself to the floor to sit down.

"I'm tired." I yawned laying my head back on the wall.

"Okay boozy I'm taking you home." He took my arm and helped me up.

We got into the car after I almost fell five or six times. Damon usually has a couple beers but doesn't drive unless he's sober. I don't think he was drinking at all tonight. I felt bad he had to take care of me. He was really sweet and gentle about everything.

"I'm so sorry Damon." I said slurring my words.

"It's fine Elena but if you're going to drink next time warn me before you do so I can look out for you." Damon was concerned.

"I will." I agreed.

I was lucky to have Damon looking out for me.

We pulled up to my house. We used the front door to get in because I was in no condition to climb up my balcony. My mom wasn't home anyway. Thankfully. Damon helped me up the stairs and I laid down on my bed and I pulled Damon down with me laughing.

"Here drink some water." Damon handed me a bottle. I pushed it away. "So drink it all unless you want to feel horrible tomorrow." He explained pushed it back towards me.

"Why are you always so nice to me?" I looked down. "I'm always messing up." Damon's face softened.

"Hey stop that. You're great and I'm always going to be here for you." He pulled me in for a hug. He was so warm and gentle.

We pulled away looking into his eyes I couldn't resist. I grabbed his face and kissed him. He deepened it and before we knew it we were making out. I couldn't believe it.

"Elena-" He spoke softly as he pulled away from my lips. "We can't do this. You're not in the right state of mind." Damon explained as he rubbed my cheek with his thumb.

"I'm so sorry Damon." I felt so stupid.

"It's okay. We got caught in the moment." He laid down next to me.

We laid there in silence.

"You know the first time I got drunk was so different then your time. I was about sixteen." I was surprised that he older when he got drunk for the first time. "Unlike you the first time I actually drank I never got drunk."

"Stupid me." We laughed.

"I was at the beach with my family and I meant to drink one beer but one turned into five." He laughed at his younger self.

"Five?" I laughed.

"Yes I ended up drowning and almost died. Never drink and swim." He chuckles.

"You're lying." We both smiled.

"Okay fine it was the bathtub but still I nearly drowned." I laughed so hard. "Get some rest okay?" He kissed my head and left.

I woke up the next morning with no hangover the water worked alright. I was hoping I would wake up and Damon would be here but he wasn't. I walked over to the window and looked at his house. He wasn't home. Where was he at this time of day? I went to the bathroom and into the shower. I started to remember last night a little better. The kissing. It was awkward because I was drunk I need to know what he's thinking. Does he regret it? Or waiting for me to be sober. I don't know if I should bring it up or not.

Caroline came over a little later. "Elena!" She shouted after I told her what happened. "Since when do you drink?"

"It was a one time thing." I tried to comfort her and myself.

"He really didn't try anything?" Caroline still being surprised every time Damon does anything respectable is still funny.

"Not really it was mostly me he came to his senses pretty quickly." I was so unsure about what this meant.

"Elena that's amazing! I misjudged him. I knew you liked him and he cared about you but I always thought that even caring he's still a jock and will hurt you." Caroline was surprised to be wrong she was always right.

"Do you think he's going to bring it up? I asked her advice.

"What did he say after?" She asked.

"He said that we can't do this because I'm not in the right state of mind." I thought about what happened.

"You need to talk to him Elena the message isn't clear." I knew she was right.

Once Caroline left I called Damon and met him at his house. As I knocked on this door I was so nervous.

"Hey! Champ any hangover?" He smiled invited me in.

"No I'm good actually thanks for the water." I smiled. "Let's sit on the bench." Damon nodded as he followed me.

"What's going on?" He asked, looking at me.

"We should talk about last night." I avoided eye contact. I was scared to admit to my feelings. It seemed like everytime I did something would stop me.

"Yeah you're right we need to talk about it." He sighed and rubbed his head. "I feel really bad that I let you kiss me." I looked at his face and saw guilt written all over his face. "You didn't know what you were doing you were drunk. I should've stopped you." Damon felt relieved to get that out.

"You didn't do anything wrong Damon." I shook my head. "I kissed you. There's nothing that you did that would've stopped me." I reassured him.

"I shouldn't have put myself in that position Elena." He state but I wasn't having it. "You're fifteen and I should've been there for you not on you."

"Damon I knew what I was doing okay? You were respectful you didn't let things get any further and I'm thankful for that." I smiled at him waiting for him to accept that I was fine with what happened but he didn't. My smile faded when he stood up.

"I think I need some time to think…" He hugged me and went back inside.

I feel so hurt.

There wasn't anything I could do to change his mind. He's never going to let himself off the hook I know him too well. I don't want this to ruin our friendship. I felt so sick about the thought of losing him. It broke my heart in two different ways. To lose the guy I loved and the guy who's become my best friend. I couldn't do it. We didn't see each other for days. I was in a permanent bad mood. This was horrible. The closer we got the farther it pushed us apart. He missed a couple days of school too. I was worried that I would never get him back. My friends said I should go fix it but there wasn't anything I could do.


	11. Chapter 11: Friendship

I noticed after a couple of days that Damon wasn't in town. It was out of nowhere. It made me wonder if it had something to do with me. It hurt that he didn't tell me he was leaving. I heard around school that he was visiting family so I felt a little better. It was weird he kept me in the dark. I didn't like being in the dark. I filled the time with Caroline and Matt. My rocks. They could help me through anything.

"Elena you're seriously depressing lately." Matt laughed as Caroline gave him a death glare. He was there for me but always makes fun of us. It's how he copes with always being around so many girls.

"I wouldn't make fun of me if I was you Matt. Caroline told about your dream." I winked at him but couldn't hold back from laughing.

"Caroline!" Matt eyes widened.

"She's kidding!" Caroline giggled.

We laughed but then I took his words to heart. "You're right I need to stop letting this thing with Damon affect me."

"Wow. You're agreeing with me?" He said surprisingly.

"I know how shocking." We laughed.

My brother Max walked in. "What are you doing?" He asked me.

"Since when do you still live here? You're never home anymore." I rolled my eyes.

"Where's Mom?" He said ignoring my question.

"Why do you think I would know?" She's never home either.

"I need help." Max was being very weird.

"With what?" I looked at Caroline and Matt and then back at Max.

"Not in front of them." He looked at my friends.

"We'll go make sandwiches. Want anything?" I nodded and Caroline left with Matt right behind her.

"What's up?" I asked starting to be concerned.

"Can you buy me condoms?" He asked as my eyes widen. I was caught off guard.

"Condoms? For what you're in middle school?" What is this bullshit.

"I'm not even a virgin anymore." He laughed at my comment.

"What the heck?" He's still a kid. This conversation was weirding me out.

"I need to be safe because girlfriend is scared she's going to get pregnant." He sat down next to me.

"What the fuck Max what are you doing?" I sighed having no idea who to handle this. "You should talk to Jeremy about this." I added.

"No he'll freak out plus he's so far away." Max explained. "And he's a nerd he's probably never even had sex." He bashed our older brother.

"Than how am I supposed to help you?" I was confused as I know nothing about sex other than what we learned in school.

"I'm sure that you are way more experienced than Jeremy is." Max laughed.

"Why would you think that? I'm only fifteen." I didn't understand what would make him think that.

"Damon spends the night here all the time? You're telling me you're not sleeping with the most popular guy in your school but just sleeping next to him?" He raised his eyebrow.

"I'm not sleeping with anyone. He's my best friend." I can't believe my brother.

"Oh sorry sis. I didn't mean to make this weird." He apologized.

"It's okay." I fake smiled.

"Do you think I could talk to Damon? I really need help." Max asked.

"Help with what? Talk to Matt." I suggested.

He laughed. "I need pointers and advice from someone experienced. I keep messi-"

"If I ask him will you please not finish the sentence?" I covered my ears.

"Thanks." He said.

I tried to reach Jeremy to let him know about Max but he wasn't answering. He's too young I don't think he should be having sex at thirteen but I'm not his mother so I figured I would see if Jeremy would reach out to him.

I called Damon twice, no answer. He's really going to lengths to avoid me right now. "_Hey Damon. Max needs some advice can you please stop by when you get back. Not for me but for him. We don't even have to talk about anything. I know it was a mistake let's move past it." _I texted him. I waited a long time but he finally texted me back. "_You're right. I'm sorry. Be home tomorrow stopping by."_

He never stopped by the next day. His car was there but he didn't make time for me or my brother. It was fine but he never even let me know he wasn't coming over. Damon is acting like a dick and it's not okay.

Before school I stopped by and knocked on his front door with Max. I was fully ready to yell at him for blowing me off but then he opened the door and I saw his face. My anger disappeared for a few seconds.

"Elena? Max?" He rubbed his eyes confusingly. "Oh shit." He says remembering.

I regained my thoughts. "Forget something?" I rolled my eyes. I was so pissed he forgot about me.

"I'm so sorry, I forgot." He apologized.

"Can you talk to him now? I'm going to walk to school." I said. "It's a guy thing I don't want to hear about it."

He nodded and said yes.

I left for school the whole way I couldn't help but wonder how it was going. I was hoping that maybe Damon would talk him into waiting before he did it again. My brother can't even cook dinner. He was not old enough to take on the responsibility of sex especially if he can't even use a condom.

"Hey." Damon said sitting down at lunch.

I looked over at him. "Hi" I whispered quietly.

He sighed. "Listen Elena I'm sorry for the way I treated you last week. It wasn't cool of me to push you away after a dumb mistake. We got caught up in a moment and that's okay. We don't need to let it ruin our friendship." Damon said as he studied my face.

"I thought I was going to lose you Damon." I looked down.

"Hey." He said as I looked up at him. Damon smiled. "You could never lose me Elena."

I smiled. "That's really nice to hear." I felt relieved.

We stared at each other for a couple seconds before I broke the silence.

"How did it go this morning with Max?" I asked as started eating my salad.

"Weird and uncomfortable. He wanted me to buy him condoms and teach him how to pleasure women." Damon said before he took a sip of his water.

I nearly choked. "Uh that's the last thing I needed to hear." I laughed a bit as he did too. This was good laughing again.

"He's only thirteen. It was strange but I didn't want to not help him since he's going to do it anyway." He pointed out.

"I know." I played with my salad. I hadn't been eating much lately.

"I told him he should wait before he does it again and to always be protected but I doubt it'll work." Damon explained. "People are rushing to grow up so fast having sex so young." He took a bite of his lunch.

"Yeah." I said quietly.

"Please wait to have sex Elena. It'll be better if you care about the person." Damon looked at me. "I know you got drunk at that party to fit in." I looked down.

"Don't compromise your dignity to fit in." He took my hand. "You're great as you are."

That whole conversation weirded me out. It was too much and Damon knew me so well that I only got drunk out of pressure. It was unlike me and I know that. I don't think I'll ever drink again unless it's my choice. I don't know who I'm becoming because the old me wouldn't have drank to fit in. How could Damon like me if I wasn't myself anymore? That's the person he became friends with not this mess. I need to find myself again.


	12. Chapter 12: Prom

By the time of the almost end of the school year came about Damon and I were inseparable again. Spring Break had ended and it was fun we just hung out the whole time. We were preparing for finales he'd tutor me in math and I'd tutor him in english. He was really bad at it and failed it last year. I got a lot out of him during the break. That year he never had a girlfriend. Damon dated a few girls sometimes but they never lasted past the second date so I never got jealous. He told he use to have a girlfriend that cheated on him. They dated all of freshmen year. So I understood why he dated all the time. He was really heartbroken.

We layed in my bed, Damon was watching Hockey and I was drawing.

"Elena?" He said turning his head to look at me.

"Yeah Damon?" I looked at him.

"Can I ask you something?" I grew nervous.

"Anything."

"Will you be my date to prom?" I was speechless.

"What?" Is all I could get out of me.

"I want to go but I don't have a date." He sat up as I followed.

"Why me?" I said confused.

"I don't want to take someone who will just end up be a meaningless girl in a photo." He took my hand. "I want to look back on the night and remember how much fun I had with my best friend." I understand what he meant. It was like me and my first kiss. He made the moment so memorable because it was someone that means something to me.

"Of course I will." I smiled and he did too going in for a hug. We talked about prom and stuff until he have to go home. When he left I screamed and called Caroline.

"Caroline! Guess who Damon asked to go to prom with him!" I yelped over the phone.

"You?" She laughed.

"Yes! I was so surprised!"

"I can't believe you guys are finally together!" My excitement went to disappointed really quickly.

"We're not together. He just wanted to go with someone that cares about him."

"Like your kiss?" She mentioned.

"Yeah I guess so. He just wants to be friends but still I'm going to prom." I smiled.

"I'm happy for you Elena, just be careful on prom night. I know Damon's a good guy but you never know." Caroline warned me with concern.

The time frame from when he asked to to prom and when it actually was, was two weeks. I had time to get my dress and convince my parents to let me go with Damon It was hard trying to find a dress because most prom dresses are for seventeen and eighteen year olds not for a fifteen year old who hasn't filled out yet. I know one day I'll have curves and not look so young anymore. I tried not to act too excited around Damon but it was hard. I just wanted to sing love songs all the time. I know it's so corny but I feel like if puppy love really exists then that is exactly what I feel. I'm not even a really girly girl but I just can't help how I feel about Damon

The night of Damon's junior prom I was so happy it was like sitting on a cloud. My parents were okay with it because they met Damon and they know he's a nice guy. I wore a medium length yellow dress with my long brown hair with loose curls half up half down. Damon rang the bell with his hair gelled back and in a black suit he was holding a two daisies. I walked down the stairs and saw him standing there. Damon looked even more handsome than usual. I could believe this night was actually happening. He was speechless.

"Wow Elena you look really nice." Damon said smiling. He never saw me in anything other than jeans or yoga pants before except the white dress on Valentine's Day but my hair and makeup were messed up. He was such a gentleman to me that night. It was the first time I thought maybe we could be more than friends. Caroline told me that he likes me or else he wouldn't have asked me. I hope she's right. When we walked in people starred. Damon told me they were jealous because I looked so beautiful. I knew it wasn't why. It was the same reason over and over again. I'm a freshman and he's a junior. Most upperclassmen only date underclassmen till they get what they want, sex but not Damon Why would he take his weird freshman friend to prom? I totally heard people saying stuff like that. I didn't care because I was with Damon

It was the most romantic non-date of my existence. We laughed, ate, talked, drank, and danced. We danced to fast songs and then to slow songs. I laid my head on his chest and wanted the night to last.

"This has been really fun." I said to my date.

"Yeah it has. I'm glad I have you here." We smiled. Then they announced Prom King and Queen.

"Damon Salvatore and Candi Winters." Yes her name is really Candi Winters. Her parents are rich idiots. It was no surprise she'd win. Candi never really talked to Damon that much. She was one of the most popular girls in school, so she had a lot of guys asking her out. They both went and accepted their crowns. I'm not girly enough to actually aspire to be prom queen but it still kind of sucks that I will never be up there with him. Everyone cleared the dance floor for them and I watched as they talked and laughed dancing.

They continued dancing after the first dance for two songs. I didn't expect him to be having so much fun with Candi. They're totally different once you get past the cheerleader and jock facade. I sat at the table and sighed.

"Having fun princess?" I arounded around to see Stefan.

"What do you want Stefan?" This was the first time we had spoke in a long time.

"Looks like your Boy-Toy is having fun there." I rolled my eyes.

"He's not my boyfriend he can do what he wants." Stefan sat next to me.

"You like him." He teased.

"Oh please." I lied and he knew it.

"I saw it the day he interrupted us in the hallway the first time. It's okay he loves you."

"You think he does?" My voice brightened.

"You're like his little sister." Stefan chuckled and left as Damon walked over. I wanted to cry.

"What did that loser want?" Damon asked looking at Stefan walking away.

"Nothing." I lied so he wouldn't find out what we were talking about.

"Are you sure about that?" Damon knew he's not the type of guy to want "_nothing"._

"Yup." I fake smile. He asked me to dance and I agreed. Maybe he only see me as a friend but I can't let that stop me from having a good night.

"Let's dance." We walked back to the dance floor and everything was starting to become good again, like earlier in the night. Dancing with Damon felt like I was floating on a cloud. He was gentle and calming. I always feel safe when I'm with him.

We went home after a while. He walked me to the doorstep like a gentleman. He brushed my cheek with his finger and gently placed a soft kiss on my lips. It was sweet, not passionate like before.

"I hope you had fun tonight. I know I did." He smiled.

"I had a lot of fun. It was an honor to be your date." He kissed my hand.

"Goodnight Elena."

"Goodnight Damon" He left and I went inside.

I went upstairs and sat on my bed in my dress. I wasn't sure weather to be happy from the night or conflicted from what Stefan told me. It was an amazing night before that happened and even afterwards. So I decided to forget about it and enjoy what was good. I didn't hear from Damon the rest of the weekend which was upsetting to me. I thought we'd hang out the next day and he'd talk about how much fun he had. I know I had fun most of the night I thought he had fun the whole night. I didn't think too much about the kiss it was, like the way you'd kiss a friend. Very much unlike the previous kiss on Valentine's Day. I went shopping with Caroline and Matt the next morning. I gushed about how good Damon looked in a suit but I left out the part that he hasn't spoken to me since. It's weird we rarely go a day without talking. If it was just any other day I wouldn't worry about it but it's the day after prom. If we do go the day without talking it's usually a day he has a long practice but it's not football season.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

**More reviews and I'll update faster. **


	13. Chapter 13: Boundaries

I went to school the next day and Damon didn't meet me at my locker to say good morning, that wasn't normal. It wasn't everyday he did that but most days. He'd either meet me at my locker or take me to school if he didn't oversleep. I wondered if maybe he was home it would explain a lot if he was just sick. I stood there debating whether to text him or not. If he was just ignoring me then texting him would make me look desperate. I just wanted to know why my best friend was acting like a stranger.

"Hey sexy whatcha up to?" Stefan said putting his arms around me. I pulled off of him.

"Ew! Get away freak." I said disgusted.

"Aw you're no fun." He chuckled as I closed my locker.

"Leave me alone." I said clearly. I wonder why now after all these months is he bothering me again. He must have gotten the confidence to do so by not caring about Damon hurting him. Maybe he worked out a lot. Then I laughed because that would be a joke he's so still afraid of getting his ass kicked.

"Why? I'm awesome." He said so cockily.

He followed me to my first period. Well actually our first period because he failed biology so he had to take again as a junior. He usually sits with his sophomore friends that are also immature. Today he decides to sit right next to me. I should have seen it coming but I didn't. As the teacher starts to teach us about RNA Stefan throws a piece of paper at me. I looked at him.

"Stop it. I'm trying to listen." I said fed up.

"Okay so you will pair up and write a two piece paper and made a poster board presentation." The class groaned as the teacher explained the project.

"Look to the person next to your right. That will be your partner." I nearly shouted are you freaking kidding me but I restrained myself.

The teacher went on about the project more and handed out requirements and rubrics. The bell rang I was the first one out of there hoping to get away from him. Stefan caught up with me.

"So let's get together at lunch."

"Please." I said blowing him off.

"We have to discuss our project sexy."

"First of all stop calling me sexy. Second of all this is now MY project and I will put your name on it if you leave me alone."

"Nah."

"What is your problem?!" I nearly yelled.

"Chill out." Stefan left and I sighed walking to my locker.

Caroline was out of school today so she could play hooky with Matt. They needed some alone time together since their parents get suspicious so they like to have time every once in awhile. If they're absent and Damon's absent that means I'm alone at lunch. Damon's junior friends are really nice and interact with us freshmen pleasantly but they don't really sit with us when he's not here. It's because their Damon's friends and it'd be awkward to sit with him when he's not there to talk to them. It would end up with all of us eating lunch in silence since we don't really know them that well. I didn't expect everyone to be absent on the same day it sucked. I walked into the lunchroom and grabbed my lunch. When I sat down alone the cafeteria was still quiet. I'm one of the first people always in here because my class is really close. I started eating my cheeseburger when someone sat down. Of course my new bff Stefan. I shuddered at the thought of that.

"What do you not get from leave me alone?"

"Why would I leave you alone when bothering you is so much fun?" He started listing times for him to come over my house to work on the project.

"You are not coming over to my house." I said.

"Then I'll be happy to let our teacher know that you decided to do the project all on your own." He stated and I growled. I didn't want to have that pig in my house with me alone. It really creeped me out especially after trying to kiss me weeks ago but I didn't want to fail.

"Fine."

"That's my sexy girl." Damon overheard and put his tray down loudly and sat down next to me.

"What did you just call her?" Damon said annoyed looking at him then back at me.

"Just talking about when I'm coming over to Elena's to hangout." Damon looked at me wonder what is going on.

"I'll let you best friends catch up." Stefan says before grabbing my hand and kissing it.

"What the heck is going on?" Damon said as Stefan leaves he was clearly mad.

"We got assigned to do a biology project together and he just was being a jerk about it." Damon calmed down.

"Why did he call you sexy?" He was clearly worked up about this.

"I don't really know he likes to make nicknames for me." It was annoying.

"Man that guy is a real weird dude."

"I know." I was surprised to see Damon after thinking he was absent.

"So how was your weekend?" I asked him hoping to find out what kept him from talking to me.

"Good. Yours?" He answered. He didn't even bring up prom. Was this a game or something? We had a good time and he's acting like it never happened. That's not normal for Damon. He always is so easy to talk to and now he's not.

"It was fine." I said pausing for a moment. "Are we still on for this weekend?" I waited for him to answer me.

"No I have plans for this weekend. We can catch up later in the week." Catch up later in the week? What the heck did that mean?

"Okay Damon." I smiled.

We were pretty quiet it the rest of lunch. I didn't really say anything. I didn't really know what to say. I wasn't bothered by Stefan the rest of the day or the next day. Caroline and Matt were back and so were Damon's friends. We didn't really say more than a few words to each other then he talked to his friends and I talked to mine. Nothing weird happened at prom. He didn't even act this weird after we kissed. I didn't understand what was happening to next day was the same as yesterday, I hardly said a word to Damon, but instead when I got home I saw Stefan sitting in my room.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MY BED?" I screamed. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket ready to call the police.

"Chill your mom let me in."

"MY MOTHER ISN'T HOME!" I yelled in fear that maybe Stefan was creepy enough to break into my house when no one was home. He was so creepy it scared me, I couldn't help but think about the night of the semi formal when he grabbed my trying to get me to go with him. I was really scared from that. Dealing with him in school wasn't bad because he couldn't do anything with the teachers or with Damon around. This time were in my bedroom. I was so scared of him because of what he did.

"She was here she told me she was going to the store check your phone." I did and saw a voicemail. I listened to it and she told me he was waiting in the kitchen for me to get home so we could start on our project.

"So you decide to sneak up into my room without permission." He nodded yes.

"Not in a weird way though." He grinned.

"GET OUT!" He didn't listen.

It was useless to do anything. He wasn't leaving and I have to start this project or we will fail. I didn't care about the we part I just cared about the me in the we. A lot of classes have a final project before the finals so this was it.

"Elena I'm sorry I scared you." He explained. "I act the way I do because I'm not use to being rejected. It's new to me." I stayed quiet. "I won't touch you I promise. I never wanted you to be scared of me. That wasn't the purpose of acting like how I have been." He apologized. I didn't think he'd be the Damonpe to say he was sorry.

"Stefan I won't forgive you but if you're being truly honest with me then maybe we can move on and past this."

"I'd like to do that." He said.

He finally buckled down and got to work. Surprisingly Stefan was smarter than anticipated. We were working for an hour and a half when Damon walked in. I didn't expect him to be here since he hasn't all week and hasn't even taken me home. Since Damon lives on my street he sees my house on his way home. He stared at us and was pissed grabbing Stefan off of my bed.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON HER BED?" I never seen him yell before.

"Damon! it's okay because we were just doing our homework." I tried to get Damon to let go of Stefan. Most of the time I'd say Stefan deserved it but he wasn't doing anything wrong. Damon loosened his grip and Stefan moved out of the way.

"Stefan you should leave." I looked at him and he nodded.

Stefan got his stuff and left quickly.


	14. Chapter 14: Just Friends

"What are you doing here?" I was trying to figure out why he all of a sudden came to see me after blowing me off all these days.

"I saw a car parked near your house and I knew your parents weren't home." He said with worry.

I half smiled. "Oh." It felt good that he was checking in on me. He pulled me in for a hug. It surprised me.

"Did he bother you?" Damon asked. His warmth comforted me.

"No it wasn't that bad." I said as Damon pulled away and sat on my bed. "He dropped the jerk act after a while and we got work done."

"Why didn't you tell me he was coming over?" He wondered.

"I didn't know he just showed up." I explained as I sat down next to him.

"You could have texted me when he got here." He almost seemed jealous.

"I didn't think you'd care." I spoke knowing that we've hardly talked since prom.

"What? Why would you think that?" He soften his face.

"You haven't exactly been spending much time here lately." I looked down.

"I'm sorry Elena I've been really busy." Damon looked at me.

"With what? It didn't matter before prom now you're spending less and less time with me or even talking to me. I thought we had fun." I exhaled, feeling so paranoid. I felt like I was going crazy.

"We did!" He exclaimed.

"Then why are acting like it was weird! Ever since prom you've acted like I did something wrong." I pondered.

"You didn't do anything." Damon said, rubbing his hands.

"Then what is it." I looked at him.

"I met a girl." My heart sunk.

"O-Oh." I tried not to sound defeated.

"She lives in New York. She was visiting this week and her family is close to mine." He looked at me and I contained my tears that wanted to fall.

"She's leaving this weekend so I wanted to spend time with her." He explained.

"So you're dating her?" I asked with a shaky voice.

"Not exactly but we're talking about it." He sounded like he felt he was doing something wrong for some reason.

The whole thing made me want to lay in my bed and never leave it.

"You must really like her." My heart broke.

"Yeah I do." He smiled softly.

"Th-That's great." I faked a smile.

"She's beautiful. She's funny and smart." He looked through me. "When I'm around her I get all sweaty and nervous like when I was your age around my crushes." He used the age thing. That hurt. Now I know the truth is he will never see me as more than a friend. That's all I will ever be to Damon. "She's feels the same way about me too." Damon was smiling.

I nodded my head as I tried not to fall apart. I couldn't in front of him. "I'm so happy for you." I swallowed my emotions.

"Thanks." He gave me a hug.

Damon left and I cried for hours.

I didn't go to school the next day, I couldn't see him yet. I felt really stupid. I stuffed my face with all kinds of junk food all day and relapsed by purging. Caroline showed up at my house wondering where I was today. She walked into my bedroom and saw me curled up in my bed.

"Elena? What happened?" I sat up with my messy hair and tear stained face.

"He met someone else." I cried gently.

"Oh Elena." Caroline pulled me into her arms as I cried.

I didn't know how to recover from this. I was so heart broken. He meant everything to me. I guess Damon Salvatore and I were never destined to be more than just friends.

That whole weekend I spent at Caroline's house avoiding Damon. Seeing him was too hard, knowing I have to see him Monday hurts so badly. I didn't eat much so I didn't purge again after that day. I was really struggling. I went back home Sunday night and Jeremy was there. It was nice to see my big brother.

"You okay sis?" He asked when I hugged him so tightly.

"No I'm not." I wiped away a tear.

"What happened?" He wondered.

"It's Damon, he doesn't want to be with me." I looked at my brother.

"Then forget about him and find someone else worthy of being with you." Jeremy patted my back.

"I don't think getting over him will be that easy." I felt pathetic.

"It's easier than you think. You're pretty strong." He said smiling.

I was pathetic for letting my unreturned feelings for Damon turn me into this sad mess. I should be stronger but I wasn't.

Monday had arrived. There was only a few weeks of school left, I can do this. I walked to my locker and looked around. I look back at my locker and jumped when a finger tapped me on the back.

"Sorry!" An unfamiliar voice shouts at me.

"Uh it's okay." I gave a small smile. "What do you need?"

"You're Elena Gilbert." He stated.

"Yeah that's me." I laughed uncomfortably.

"My name's Liam." He extended his hand out to me.

I reluctantly shook his hand. "Hi Liam." I was confused.

"I'm failing english and I wanted to know if I could borrow your notes?" Liam asked me.

"Sure, I can study with you if you want?" I liked helping people and it would get my mind off of Damon.

"That'd be great! Thank you so much." He smiled.

"No problem." I smiled sweetly.

I saw Damon when I walked into the lunch room he was sitting with Candi Winters and her friends. It really didn't make any sense to me. He couldn't have been talking about Candi? He said the girl he liked lived in New York. I sat down at my table but kept my eye on his. I didn't understand any of this.

I shrugged it off and went about my day. I helped Liam after school. I normally would stay after and watch Damon practice. After we finished studying, I started walking home. On my way I heard a beep and turned around. Damon pulled over.

"Hey Elena, I didn't see you today." Hearing his voice made the tears swell up. I held it in.

"I know." I said softly.

"Come on. I'll take you home." I got in because I knew if I didn't he'd try and find out why and that's the last thing I need on top of this heartbreak. "How are you? I haven't seen you today." He was acting like it was me who didn't sit with him.

"Why were you sitting with Candi today?" I asked hesitatingly, I was mad and couldn't stop myself. I was curious.

"My girlfriend is her cousin." Girlfriend. My heart skipped a beat.

"Oh. That makes sense." No it didn't.

"We can still hang out all the time." He assured me after noticing the tone in my voice. "Candi is a bitch so if she sees me sitting with you a lunch she'll tell lies to her cousin." I was waiting for the moment he'd cut me off I knew it was coming.

"It's okay." I was sad. No I was more than sad. I was crushed.

"No it isn't. It sucks. I promise it'll only be like that in school." He claimed. "Other than that nothing is changing just yet."

"Actually I've been thinking it might be best for us to not spend everyday together." I said uneasy. "Caroline misses me and I'm working really hard on getting a 4.0 gpa this semester." It wasn't exactly true but I couldn't keep doing this. I would rather not see him than have half of him.

He glanced at me. "Oh." He sounded let down. "If it's what you want." Damon said as he pulled into my driveway.

"It is."

I went inside and fell apart again. It was the end of our friendship as we knew it.


	15. Chapter 15: Crumpling Down

A week had past since I found out about Damon having a girlfriend. We I hadn't talked at all. It crushed me finding out has someone else, that he had no feelings for me. It also hurt losing my best friend. There's so many things I want to talk to him about and I can't. I wanted to tell him how much I was struggling with my eating disorder, I wanted to tell him how stressed I was with finals, I wanted to talk about how I hadn't talked to my mom in over a week. It's been really difficult. I wished I didn't have these feelings and I could get over him liking some other girl because then I would see have a best friend. I tried to move on from it. I focused all my time on my art, my homework, and studying with Liam. Finals were next week so we had to be prepared. He was really cool. Liam's family is pretty similar to mine and he's likes all the same movies I like and that's hard because I'm really picky about the movies I like. He was like a breath of fresh air. We started studying at my place, so I wouldn't have to see Damon. I didn't tell Liam much about him besides that we stopped being friends. Which wasn't really true we just weren't close anymore. Liam and I talked a lot about how we both had our hearts broken. I never told him who broke my heart but he at least knew what I was going through. I liked being with Liam, he took my mind off of Damon like no one else did and that wasn't an easy thing.

We sat at my kitchen table, studying math. "Do you want to go out tomorrow night? On a date?" Liam asked me as he twirled his pen.

My eyes widen. "You want to go on a date with me?" I was caught off guard. I didn't know if I was actually ready.

"Of course I do." He grinned, wondering what I would say.

"Why?" I was considering it but I was hesitant knowing that I could hurt him if I wasn't sure of my feelings for Damon.

"I like you a lot." He stated so boldly. "You're funny, smart, cute, and nice." Liam said so kindly and warm. His confidence in the way he feels was such a turn on.

I blushed. "Yes." I smiled for the first time in so long.

I wanted to give him the chance to let me get over Damon. I didn't want anyone to get hurt but if I said no I could miss out on something great with someone amazing. I had to try. I owed it to myself.

* * *

I spent an hour in the shower I rinsed and repeated way more times than I should have. I was going out of my mind trying to find something to wear that didn't make me look disgusting. I had reframed from eating all day as I didn't want to purge anything. I was struggling with my eating disorder and I knew I wasn't okay but I didn't care. I wished my mom was around to help me. She didn't care. Caroline helped me pick something to wear after I practically freaked out over lack of clothes, she let me borrow something. Caroline was excited I was starting to get over Damon. I was and I wasn't. Liam took my mind off my feelings for Damon but it didn't take my mind off of missing my friend.

He picked me up at eight and met my little brother. He even opened my door for me. Tonight was a surprise so I had no clue till we pulled up to the lake.

Wow

"This is really beautiful Liam!" I was shocked he took me to the very same lake I was at with Damon on Halloween but the other side of it.

"You like it?" He smiled with hope in his eyes.

"Of course I do." It was very romantic. "No one has ever made so much effort with me before."

He made a picnic on the dock of the lake. It wasn't anything fancy just mac and cheese but it was sweet. My first real date ever was so special.

"I hope you don't think this is too much?" He said as we sat down.

"No! This is everything a girl could want for a first date." I couldn't believe the creativity he had.

"Really?" I nodded. "You're beautiful, you know that?" I blushed.

"You're not so bad yourself either." We laughed.

"Here." He handed me a fork and I opened the container of mac and cheese.

He started eating it and I took a bite. I didn't know what to do so I moved the fork around the bowl as we made small talk. I ended up pretending to spill half of it and pretending I was that hungry. Liam wasn't phased he didn't notice anything so we continued through the night. We walked around the lake and he held my hand.

The rest of the night was a fairytale. He walked me to my door and kissed me goodnight. I actually forgot about Damon for the rest of the night. Which was major improvement so maybe this guy is something special. I spent all night talking to him on the phone about all kinds of things. He invited me to go to his best friend's party next weekend for the end of the school year bash. I was so excited except for the fact that his best friend was Scott Winters, who happened to be Candi's brother.

* * *

The day of the party I was going stir crazy. It was the last day of school so everyone was talking about the party. It was for underclassmen. Since Seniors were having a big blow out for graduation the next day and it was only for Seniors. So everyone else wanted to have fun too. I still hadn't talked to Damon since our talk. I wonder if he heard about my date with Liam. He probably didn't care but I wish he did.

"Earth to Elena?!" Caroline said waving her hand over my face.

"Oh sorry." I snapped out of it.

"How'd you do on that final?" She asked me, biting her nails in anxiety.

"Okay I think." I wasn't sure. My mind kept jumping back from Liam to Damon and back to Liam.

"What's on your mind?" Caroline asked me as we walked to lunch. "You've been distracted.

"This year wasn't supposed to end like this." I exhaled.

"What was it suppose to be like?" Caroline spun around to face me.

"I don't know.. I had it in my head that Damon would sweep me off my feet. He didn't and he doesn't want to."

"Elena." She sighed in disappointment. "You need to stop. I've been listening to you talk about Damon for so long and I warned you not to get your hopes up but you didn't listen to me!" Her words hurt.

"I can't help how I feel Caroline!" I exclaimed with frustration.

"Then tell him that! You're moping around when he doesn't even know how you feel! I'm tired of this drama." Caroline said bluntly not caring if it hurt my feelings.

"You don't get it because you have Matt." I looked away in disappointment.

"I do get it Elena. I know what it feels like to be lonely and you found Liam. Either forget about Damon or tell him because Liam doesn't deserve you to be with him but your heart with someone else." She walked away in the cafeteria.

I know Caroline was right.

I followed behind her and grabbed lunch. Caroline and Matt talked about the finals while I stayed quiet. I pushed my food around my plate staring down at it. I sighed and looked over to Damon laughing with his friends.

The bell rang in my final class for the year. Freshmen year is over, crazy how fast life goes.

* * *

Liam surprised me at my locker. "Are we still on for tonight beautiful?" I turned around.

"Yeah." I faked a smile back at him.

"What's wrong?" He looked at me.

"Nothing I'm in shock of how fast this year went." I folded my arms.

"My freshmen year went slow, but I had the time of my life." He kissed my cheek and left.

I went home and prepared myself for the party.

"Hey sis?" Jeremy knocked.

"Yeah?" I applied eyeshadow.

"Can we talk for a minute?" We sat on my bed.

"What's up?" I looked at him.

"I'm moving back home." He explained leaving me confused.

"Why? You love school." I sat up concerned.

"Mom got into some trouble." My brother tells me as my mind wandered off.

It turns out my Mom was off with some guy she met at a bar for the week, who knows where. I didn't understand it. My Mom was never like this before Jeremy left for college. This were great but then he left and it all crumpled, maybe that's he's moving back in. I just wanted to get out of this house. I continued to get ready then waited of Liam to pick me up.

* * *

**Please review this chapter and I'll update faster since we have more time in quarantine stay safe and wash your hands!**


	16. Chapter 16: Secret Valentine

Liam and I got to the party and it was crazy. Drunk people everywhere and dancing. I don't even see anyone I that I recognized. I assumed that since it was only underclassmen that it would be tame but it looked like the whole school was here and more. I was cautious not wanting to repeat the same mistakes I made at the last party I attended but this party was way bigger.

"This is crazy Liam." I grabbed his arm.

"Do you want to want to go?" I could hardly hear him over the music.

"No! I'll get use to it." I didn't want to ruin his fun. "Let's get something to drink." We walked to the kitchen.

"Beer or water?" He asked holding both drinks in his hand, with a goofy look on his face.

I giggled at him. "Water." I wasn't drinking after what happened last time.

I got my water and Liam grabbed a beer for himself. I wasn't sure if I was cool with the drinking thing since he was driving. I guess it's not going to hurt either of us if he has a drink or two.

"Hey man! You made it!" Scott came over.

"Hey dude!" He high fived Scott and put his arm around me. "Scott this is Elena."

I smiled. "Nice to meet you." I extended my hand out to him.

He went in for a hug and put his hand on my ass, my eyes widened and I pulled away looking at Liam who clearly notice. They started talking about all the drunk cheerleaders. I was so uncomfortable. Liam's older by a few months but it felt like he was a lot younger, maybe it was the alcohol. I wasn't really having any fun. Liam had Scott to talk to but Caroline wasn't here and I missed her. A part of me wanted to call her but the rest knew it'd be wrong to ditch Liam since he's such a nice guy. I tried to overlook his behavior around his friends.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom." I whispered to Liam.

I didn't even have to go to the bathroom I just wanted to escape guy talk. I was also pretty bummed still about my Mom taking off. I probably wasn't in the right mind set to be here right now but I didn't want to be in that house either.

Looking around the party hoping to lay my eyes on a familiar face when I saw Damon. He was talking to some friends. I sighed walking back to the kitchen and grabbed Liam's hand. He was kinda drunk but still fine to dance.

"Come on let's go dance.' I smiled as we put our drinks down and danced.

Damon laid his eyes on me, he looked angry. I didn't know why he was the one who has a girlfriend he walked over to us.

"Hey. I'm Damon." He shaked Liam's hand.

"Liam. Nice to meet you." Liam wasn't sure what was going on.

I stared at Damon waiting to see what he's trying to do. He looks up at the speaker as the song changes.

Damon turned to me. "May I take this next dance?" He reached his hand out for me.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Liam looked at me, uncomfortably.

"I did I ask you?." Damon glared at him.

"Damon-" I was cut off by Liam shoving Damon. "Liam!" My eyes widened.

Damon laughed at Liam who's clearly drunk but thinks he knocked Damon over which was clearly not the case. Damon was twice his size.

I rubbed my head in frustration. "Can you just take me home?" I asked Liam.

Damon grabbed my hand. "Elena he's not in any shape to drive." He pulled his keys out of his pocket. "I'll take you both home."

I sighed. "Okay."

We took Liam home and stayed silent the entire drive home.

* * *

"What was that?!" I shrieked pissed off as we entered my bedroom.

"He's not good enough for you Elena." He stared into my eyes.

"Than who is?! Damon we aren't even speaking! You had no right to say that to me!" I yelled in frustration.

He looked down. "I'm sorry Elena."

"You should be." I ran my fingers through my hair.

"I just want the best thing for you." He whispered.

"What makes you think you know what the best thing for me is?" I was angry and hurt.

"Because I know you better than most people." Damon looked back at me, into my eyes.

"No you don't." I scuffed. "If you did you'd know how much you hurt me!" I breathed heavily.

"Hurt you? I hurt you?" His face soften.

"Badly. You treated me like a child and you wrote me off for some girl you just met." The honesty poured out of me. "The hardest part of it all is that you lead me on through all of this." My eyes watered.

"Lead you on? Elena-" He said softly, he stared at my face as a tear rolled down.

"I loved you Damon." I exhaled as he walked closer to me. "I loved you so much that it was painful." I cried.

He wiped my tear away. "Elena. I'm so sorry I didn't think." He felt terrible.

"No you didn't." I took a deep breath.

"Elena-" He breathed.

"You made me feel something I've never felt before and I can't ever seem to get you out of my mind!" I couldn't stop myself. "No matter what I do." I sighed. "You're always there in the back of my head"

Damon smiled.

"What?" I looked at him, confused.

He grabbed my face and kissed me softly.

"I can't do this again." I pulled away. "I can't get hurt again."

"Elena, I can't get you out of my mind either." I smiled, in shock.

The words I've wanted to hear all of this time.

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him deeply. He put his hands on my hips, pulling me closer til all the space between us was gone.

It felt like heaven.

I rubbed my arms down his abs as he kissed my neck.

I could feel his hard chest against mine. The kiss got rougher and more needy. My back was pressed against the wall as his hands roamed freely on my body. He slowly moved me back towards the bed. As soon as the backs of my knees hit the edge of the bed, I fell on my back. His hard body followed after. His soft lips never leave mine. In a blink of an eye, we were both naked.

"Are you sure?" He asked me I nodded.

I bit my lip, looking him up and down. I couldn't help, but take every inch of him in. He was beautiful as he hovered over me.

"I love you" I smiled deeply.

"I love you too Elena." Damon said softly.

He slowly moved between my legs before I felt something poke my entrance. I bit my lip. I was nervous about the whole ordeal, but I tried my best not to think about as I felt his length stretch me out. The cloud of lust filling any thought that I had as he continued to thrust in and out. He was slowly at first to make sure that I adjusted, but soon it was fast. He watched me carefully as he kept pushing deeper into me. He was careful to make sure that nothing hurt me. It felt like all time had stop until we both got our releases together.

We laid there for hours in each other's arms. Being with Damon felt like we were the only two people on earth. My love for him was infinite. We drifted off to sleep.

* * *

I woke up the next morning.

Alone.

There was a note on my pillow.

Dear Elena,

The night we spent together last night was perfect. I've never felt so loved and being with you was so special. What we shared was so beautiful. I truly mean that. We are special Elena. We can't ignore that but I'm only going to be around for another year and then I'm gone. I feel guilty about what I took from you and how cheated on my girlfriend. I don't know who I am anymore. I use to be a good guy but I'm not who I used to be anymore. I'm not going to be around this summer. I'm spending it in New York, I need to work on myself and how to be the guy you and I both use to know. You deserve someone who will treasure you and I'm sorry I can't be that guy. I wish that I could've been. We had something unique didn't we?

You'll always be my secret valentine.

I will always care for you.

I love you,

Damon

That was the moment I knew everything had changed.


End file.
